literally.
10.31.2011
oh happy day
today marks ten years. on this day, october 31st, at age four, i excepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. and, ever year after that, we celebrated by taking a trip to IHOP. le yum yum :)
i've never been the same since. {becoming a Christian, that is} i always feel so happy. and what's wrong with being happy?
today has been filled with laughter, coffee conversations, oxfords, warm syrup, and the smell of autumn. also, i princess leia'd my hair. also:
score.
oh, happy day! {echo}
-kiss kiss kiss, hug a spock poster-
today has been filled with laughter, coffee conversations, oxfords, warm syrup, and the smell of autumn. also, i princess leia'd my hair. also:
score.
oh, happy day! {echo}
-kiss kiss kiss, hug a spock poster-
definitions:
me
,
memories + nostalgia
10.30.2011
dear boys, ii
dear brian,
i miss my punching bag.
ernestly,
dying to hit someone.
dear jared,
your face matches your shirt. just saying.
from,
the color coordination police.
dear johnny depp,
i love you. thank you for waving at me.
sincerely,
rather starstruck.
dear edward scissorhands,
i love you more.
love,
the girl who wants to give you a hug.
dear jack sparrow,
your drunk-like manner is hilarious.
yours truly,
hilarioused.
dear doctor who,
you irk me in a laughish sort of way.
signed,
giggle bug.
dear ryan,
looking forward to that ice cream.
incandescently,
the proud owner of an industrial sized spoon.
dear william moseley,
don't worry, i won't let anyone else have you.
with love and kisses,
charlotte. because only you know who i really am ;)
10.28.2011
from my head to my toes {mini-le happy}
oxfords
penny loafers
oxford heels
new shoes in general
my heart will go on
edward scissorhands
johnny depp
caroline thompson
starstruck
the paramount theater
paintings on the ceiling
en pointe
crossword puzzles
dear abby {i'm a weirdo like that}
75 weather
hearts
edward scissorhand's heart.
oh yes, i'm obsessed with edward scissorhands. i'm afraid you're going to have to deal with it. after all, you deal with my narnia antics don't you? and yes, i do read dear abby, because i quite like to read about other people's problems. and if you think i'm nosy, then you should contact the newspaper and tell them to not print other people's problems. have a lovely day, you guys! :)
EDIT: as you guys have requested, this is now a linky:
EDIT: as you guys have requested, this is now a linky:
-kiss kiss kiss, hug the london philharmonic orchestra-
{pee ess: i have an indefinite crush on johnny depp. and my aunt is proud of me. is that weird?}
{pee ess: i have an indefinite crush on johnny depp. and my aunt is proud of me. is that weird?}
10.27.2011
afraid of the dark
to Edward Scissorhands, obviously.
years and years i've been in this place
with big shapes and contraptions to haunt me
not even a shard of glass to look at my face
nothing to heal the scars that are upon me
nothing to heal the scars that are upon me
the sun rises and sets and i stand by the window
occasionally a bird whistles at me
i see the children play and i want to be with them
but i can't because of these hands that belong to me
i cannot eat and i cannot drink
and i have no one to talk to
therefore i observe and i think
even at the times when i don't want to
i'm barely human, i'm unfinished
my father didn't wake up
i'm not augmented and therefore diminished
but i do not cry or wail like a pup
with no blanket to shield and no light to see
i wonder what's going to become of me
with my torn up bed and wall of pictures
they're my only company
one day i wonder what would happen
if i went to sleep and didn't wake up
like my father who was old and gray
but i cannot live like this, it is enough
if you're reading this, please come and save me
i'm afraid of the dark, i don't know what to do
don't ever leave, don't ever forsake me
i want to hope that i am worthy of you.
well excuse me for falling in love with his heart.
at the film festival, before a special showing of edward scissorhands, there was a guy there, of whom you probably all know, named Johnny Depp. he had a haircut that almost reminded me of a younger Leonardo DiCaprio, a blue striped shirt with several necklaces showing, and a darker blue vest with two pocket watches peeking out. lots of tattoos. glasses that resembled the 3D ones on his face, a skull ring, a handkerchief hanging out of his back jeans pocket, and last but not least, fingernails that were painted a teal-ish green. now, the majority of the people you ask would mostly likely call him a "beautiful creature that gets even more attractive with age", while the other's simply pass him off as "creepy". even though we all have our opinions, we can't judge someone from what we see with our eyes. Johnny Depp has his own style preference, so do we. but we have to look at what's inside. Edward Scissorhands looked like a horror movie to most people. but what they didn't realize was that he had a heart, like everyone else. whether good, or bad, it was still there, and that's what we need to see.
so -kiss kiss kiss, hug his heart- because that's what i see. and i adore it.
definitions:
i'm a writer
,
letters
10.26.2011
all things autumn // winners
well this was a rather hard decision, but i am happy to announce the people whose photos won over my heart indefinitely. yippee-yi-yo-kai-yay!
3rd place is...
lou // skip to my lou! i loved this photo from the start, because this is exactly what i do during autumn. make tea, and read tons of book. it's my love, and this photo captured it perfectly.
2nd place is...
mary // sue sue's stories! remember how i said i drink lots of tea during the fall? mmhmm. i and the cinnamon stick adds flare. i like it :))
and 1st place goes to....
cindi // cotton candy clouds! i don't think this photo says anything but autumn. the pumpkin, the leaves awaiting the children's arrival, to be danced in, and buried in. i fell in love with it from the start :))
congratulations to the winners! and even though this has nothing to do with autumn whatsoever:

le yum yum.
-kiss kiss kiss, hug a candlestick-
3rd place is...
lou // skip to my lou! i loved this photo from the start, because this is exactly what i do during autumn. make tea, and read tons of book. it's my love, and this photo captured it perfectly.
2nd place is...
mary // sue sue's stories! remember how i said i drink lots of tea during the fall? mmhmm. i and the cinnamon stick adds flare. i like it :))
and 1st place goes to....
cindi // cotton candy clouds! i don't think this photo says anything but autumn. the pumpkin, the leaves awaiting the children's arrival, to be danced in, and buried in. i fell in love with it from the start :))
congratulations to the winners! and even though this has nothing to do with autumn whatsoever:

le yum yum.
-kiss kiss kiss, hug a candlestick-
10.25.2011
all things autumn // finalists
i couldn't just pick five. i would pick all of you guys if i could. seriously.
mary // sue sue's stories
eve // essence of eve photography
cindi // cotton candy clouds
lou// skip to my lou
mary ann // shutter happy
oh wait, that was five. oops.
and now for a quick update in the life of your cupcake lover:
i am excruciatingly tired. i don't know how many times i've said that. this morning i fulfilled another task on my fifteen before fifteen list...number 10 to be exact. a post about feet and happiness is coming up soon and i think i'm nearly finishing planning my birthday party, which is in about a month and a half. i'm dying for some creme brûlée. i am going to marry edward scissorhands. but for now, pardon me while i finish my chick-fil-a breakfast sandwich.
-kiss kiss kiss, hug organ keys-
definitions:
i'm a photographer
,
me
10.23.2011
shameless rambling
i'm at my grandma's house, eating oreo cookies, and watching football players sporting pink rubber bands in support of Breast Cancer Awareness. i've just about had it with beards. and also, i've been thinking about cats lately.

i have just retired from spending another day at the film festival, and am awaiting my day off tomorrow so i can go shoe shopping, and possibly make creme brûlée with the new ramekins grandma bought. also, i love edward scissorhands. a lot.

you know how johnny depp waved at me at edward scissorhands? {as i'm typing this i realize you don't. sorry, you guys -nervously excited smile-} well, i had the opportunity to meet and talk to caroline thomspon. and if you don't know who she is i'm pretty sure she wrote edward scissorhands. she's such a kind soul and calls everyone "sweetheart". and she gave me her pen. we're practically best friends! i think i'm on a roll with celebrities. so i hear james franco is at the festival, too..
i'm eating an ice cream sandwich and my mom is talking about an anonymous peach cobbler. i am overwhelmed with joy over this post and can hardly believe 2011 is almost over. i'm slowly but surely getting my social life back, even though the score for my music competition is almost finished, my life is still rather busy. my last days of being fourteen are beginning to take its toll...

i've been thinking a lot about people lately. who they are. who they're thought of as, and who they want to think of themselves as. and so, i'm thinking of starting something new. called "the scissorhands project". more on that later, when i do my film festival overview post.
i am very tired. i saw a screening of puss in boots today {really good, cute movie, consider going} and at the theater they showed old 1970's movie previews and i was a little weirded out. but then they started playing the Beatles and Elvis and i was incandescently happy. the photo challenge entries were supposed to end tonight but i'm so tired so that'll be done tomorrow, plus i won't be able to post tomorrow.
i can't stop thinking about edward scissorhands. i think i'm in love. night night, dearhearts :))
-kiss kiss kiss, hug edward scissorhands-
i am very tired. i saw a screening of puss in boots today {really good, cute movie, consider going} and at the theater they showed old 1970's movie previews and i was a little weirded out. but then they started playing the Beatles and Elvis and i was incandescently happy. the photo challenge entries were supposed to end tonight but i'm so tired so that'll be done tomorrow, plus i won't be able to post tomorrow.
i can't stop thinking about edward scissorhands. i think i'm in love. night night, dearhearts :))
-kiss kiss kiss, hug edward scissorhands-
10.22.2011
in which swooning is encouraged {a wordless post}
definitions:
me
,
miscellany
,
peter pevensie
10.21.2011
a quickie
so, today i'm going to the austin film festival. because i live in texas and i can. and because i'm going to be a film composer when i grow up and this is a great way to learn about that stuff. and because johnny depp is going to be there and i couldn't be more excited. so, if you're going too, yippee-yi-oh-kai-yay! if not, goshbubbles. i will leave you with this:
10.20.2011
fifteen before fifteen
remember this notebook?
most likely not. well, i used it do document my times while in california, and since i just can't leave it lying around the house they way it's been, it now has another use.
introducing: fifteen before fifteen.
{1. get a MacBook Pro. done
{2. write and complete a children's book.
{3. wear my hair like princess leia for october 31st. done
{4. do a fashion post. done
{5. buy a dslr camera
{6. make creme brûlée. done
{7. dance to an old vinyl record from the 60's. done
{8. get an iPod. done
{9. speak in a british accent for a whole day. done
{10. watch the sunrise with a cup of tea. done
{11. wish on a shooting star. done
{12. buy something online done
{13. eat sushi. done
{14. have a lord of the rings & star wars marathon. done
{15. start a scrapbook. done {in sorts}
now, some of these things i've already completed {as you can see} but these have been goals of mine for awhile, years, even, and why not challenge myself? also, my birthday is december 12, so i have about one and a half months to do this. yay me!
-kiss kiss kiss, hug waffy taffy-
{pee ess: i have an idea. i think you guys are going to like this idea.}
{pee pee ess: last night i had a dream that the northern lights came to texas. uh. whoa.}
{1. get a MacBook Pro. done
{2. write and complete a children's book.
{3. wear my hair like princess leia for october 31st. done
{4. do a fashion post. done
{5. buy a dslr camera
{6. make creme brûlée. done
{7. dance to an old vinyl record from the 60's. done
{8. get an iPod. done
{9. speak in a british accent for a whole day. done
{10. watch the sunrise with a cup of tea. done
{11. wish on a shooting star. done
{12. buy something online done
{13. eat sushi. done
{14. have a lord of the rings & star wars marathon. done
{15. start a scrapbook. done {in sorts}
now, some of these things i've already completed {as you can see} but these have been goals of mine for awhile, years, even, and why not challenge myself? also, my birthday is december 12, so i have about one and a half months to do this. yay me!
-kiss kiss kiss, hug waffy taffy-
{pee ess: i have an idea. i think you guys are going to like this idea.}
{pee pee ess: last night i had a dream that the northern lights came to texas. uh. whoa.}
10.19.2011
photo challenge // all things autumn
it's been awhile since i've hosted a photo challenge hasn't it? well, in the event that it is autumn, and just about every blogger in the world has acknowledged its presence. and so, in light of all this, i introduce you to all things autumn.

go on a spree. what best describes autumn to you? your favorite pair of socks. lying on the grass and watching the trees turn colors. hot chocolate. a woolen sweater. pumpkin pie. your hair in a fierce gust of wind. the way your little sister wraps her arms around herself when she steps outside. whatever.

because this is autumn. and we have set out to capture it.
rules:
{1. the photo must be taken by you.
{2. your post must link back to this one.
{3. if you don't have a blog, you can use your flickr account.
{4. blog hop a little, comment on other people entries!
{5. the deadline to enter is sunday, the 23rd. i'll be announcing the finalists that monday, and the winners that wednesday :)
{6. have fun!
-kiss kiss kiss, hug a tree-

because this is autumn. and we have set out to capture it.
rules:
{1. the photo must be taken by you.
{2. your post must link back to this one.
{3. if you don't have a blog, you can use your flickr account.
{4. blog hop a little, comment on other people entries!
{5. the deadline to enter is sunday, the 23rd. i'll be announcing the finalists that monday, and the winners that wednesday :)
{6. have fun!
-kiss kiss kiss, hug a tree-
10.18.2011
200
{i was going to post this thursday, but i decided to just go ahead and do it today.}
or should i say 230.
this post is so overdue that i should be banned from eating cupcakes for a day, but then i would die. not cool. i've been writing on this blog for about ten months, and it's remarkable how many of you have tagged along for the ride.
to me, it's a process to start a blog. you brainstorm about the name, posts, main reason for your blog, and then you start it, and things may go swimmingly, or you might be in a place you didn't expect to be. so, you need some advice. you go blog browsing, and you see what all the big popular blogs do. great blog design, simple, yet serene posts, but you don't have any idea that so many people would find you interesting. because, in my mind, i think this was something i did for myself.
but now, after 265 days, 369 posts, 2118 comments, and 40, 497 views. wait. what? whoa. shut the front door. anyway, i think this is something that you guys can relate to, since so many of you have committed to reading about my uppie-and-downie life, filled with cupcakes and peter pevensies, and trials and tribulations of wanting a fairly decent camera.
so, to all of you, i give 230 from-the-bottom-of-my-heart thank you's, and 690 cupcakes so each of you guys can have three. or you can always have 1,380 mini-cupcakes so each of you can have six. i don't know, whatever you guys decide.
so, i'll leave you guys with this:

these look absolutely adorlable. did i just put another L in adorable? oh. okay. that's cool.
hello, my name is jocelyn, and i think i just invented a new word :D this calls for more cupcakes. and a kiss from my husband.
-kiss kiss kiss, hug charlie brown- {i think he needs a hug}
{pee ess: photo challenge is going to start tomorrow. i forgot to clarify that. oops.}
or should i say 230.
this post is so overdue that i should be banned from eating cupcakes for a day, but then i would die. not cool. i've been writing on this blog for about ten months, and it's remarkable how many of you have tagged along for the ride.
to me, it's a process to start a blog. you brainstorm about the name, posts, main reason for your blog, and then you start it, and things may go swimmingly, or you might be in a place you didn't expect to be. so, you need some advice. you go blog browsing, and you see what all the big popular blogs do. great blog design, simple, yet serene posts, but you don't have any idea that so many people would find you interesting. because, in my mind, i think this was something i did for myself.
but now, after 265 days, 369 posts, 2118 comments, and 40, 497 views. wait. what? whoa. shut the front door. anyway, i think this is something that you guys can relate to, since so many of you have committed to reading about my uppie-and-downie life, filled with cupcakes and peter pevensies, and trials and tribulations of wanting a fairly decent camera.
so, to all of you, i give 230 from-the-bottom-of-my-heart thank you's, and 690 cupcakes so each of you guys can have three. or you can always have 1,380 mini-cupcakes so each of you can have six. i don't know, whatever you guys decide.
so, i'll leave you guys with this:

these look absolutely adorlable. did i just put another L in adorable? oh. okay. that's cool.
hello, my name is jocelyn, and i think i just invented a new word :D this calls for more cupcakes. and a kiss from my husband.
-kiss kiss kiss, hug charlie brown- {i think he needs a hug}
{pee ess: photo challenge is going to start tomorrow. i forgot to clarify that. oops.}
10.17.2011
have a happy monday
eat some berry pancakes.

go tree hugging.

drink a cup of tea.

or coffee, it doesn't matter.

make a scrapbook about paris.

after all, i know how much you want to go there.

anyway, read a good book...or build a library for that matter.

take a few photographs.

maybe try out a new hairstyle.

eat a few cupcakes? {most definitely}

quite frankly, it doesn't matter what you do. but the object of this is to simply

source
have a happy monday.
so why don't you go do that? good.
-kiss kiss kiss, hug tardis blue-

eat a few cupcakes? {most definitely}

quite frankly, it doesn't matter what you do. but the object of this is to simply

source
have a happy monday.
so why don't you go do that? good.
-kiss kiss kiss, hug tardis blue-
10.16.2011
the one about me
one of my personal friends asked if i could show some candids of myself on the blog, so the readers {you guys} would get a chance to see the girl behind the cupcake stand. an alternate title for this post would be "my unfortunate attempt at fashion blogging".
outfit {even though it's not shown}: hairdo - short hair chignon // dress - ross // shoes - DSW // purse - marc jacobs // headband - ross // earrings - vintage from grandma // shawl {not shown} - unknown
on a sunday, when dinner is cooking, and mommy and joy are switching from gymnastics to football, when daddy is doing something to the same affect - which excludes gymnastics -, i take it upon myself to find something to do. and this would be it. because sometimes, pointless posts are good for the soul.
i just got my Christmas music from my piano teacher. "Christmas Time is Here" from Charlie Brown, and "Snowbirds Journey" Kathleen Massoud. my neighbor's children are walking outside with parasols and cupcake sweaters, with a polaroid in one hand and a hand radio in the other. i love my neighbors.
i think we're going to be making raspberry cream pie sometime in the future. my grandma sugar {carol} is coming to visit tomorrow {so excited} so maybe while she's here. by the way, my grandma smells really good. speaking of cupcakes, there's a cupcake apron from anthropologie that i've had my eye on and miranda cosgrove just happened to wear it in one of her latest episodes of iCarly. i mean, i've loved iCarly before, but now? ohmygoshbubbles. speaking of cupcake aprons, my birthday's coming up in two months...fifteen!
i've been neglecting my husband lately. to remedy that i think i'm going to do a wordless post just for him. would you like that darling? i think he likes it :)
the timer has gone off for the ribs and it is now time for me to go. so, goodbye loves! i shall leave you with this:
hi, my name is jocelyn. yes i know i'm cute.
also, i think i'm going to make some iced coffee.
-kiss kiss kiss, hug leonardo dicaprio-
{pee ess: "all things autumn" photo challenge to be held sometime this week!}
{pee pee ess: i'm thinking of doing a "you choose what i post about next" game. what do you think?}
10.15.2011
thoughts by the girl named Bleah {a guest post of sorts}

Bleah. That's my name... sounds alot like bleck, or bleach -- I get that. But let's just think Princess Leia... Princess Bleah. That's what it sounds like anyway. What does it mean? I have no clue. Why did my mother name me Bleah? Because it was someone last name and she liked it, at least that's the story.
But enough about the name, the name takes away from the girl. It really does.
This isn't a real purposeful post, I might do another one later on that has more of a subject. But I really just needed to ramble for a little bit on a new platform.
My thoughts are are follows:
Love: the most important thing in the world, Jesus said it, The Beatles sang it, and Christians are supposed to live it, right? All you need it love, because it's the greatest of these. Hence the title of my blog being "where love abounds" because where love abounds there grace abounds also. At least that's what the good book says, and it's the good book that's the guideline for my life.
Leading us into the following.
Faith: I believe that religion is overrated. I don't follow religions such as Catholic or Baptist. Jesus never said anything about a religion, the only thing he wanted was a relationship. I live day by day in a full on relationship with Jesus Christ my Savior. He is the way the truth and the life, through him and my faith in what he did on the cross I will one day enter the kingdom of heaven and see God.
Food: I'm more of a live to eat then and eat to live kinda girl. Food is good, and what's the point of eating if it doesn't make your taste-buds dance around your tongue? I'm not much of a chef, I'm the impatient type. But I love to eat, my husband will be a cook, and I will be his test taster. Though I have some crazy desire to one day become domesticated to be a proper house wife, cooking, cleaning, and all. Oh yes, and I love nutella --

Writing is my passion and one day I'd like to either be a journalist or a teacher, get my doctorates, and eventually become a professor.
I'm old fashioned when it comes to clothing, politics, and good old fashioned integrity.

If you like what you've heard today you can comment below and if the response is good I'll be back in a week or two with something more substantial.
If you love what you've heard today maybe you'd like my blog?
{about the author}
![[1.jpg]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-l3dVhj5WW7g/TosOQWULAII/AAAAAAAAFhQ/3CcuNtwuCqo/s220/1.jpg)
Bleah Briann (Blaya Bre-ann) 16 year old homeschooler with a passion for all things pink, vintage, and literature. Reads alot, talks more. Prefers lower case letters and british spelling, is not so secretly in love with Adam Young of Owl City. Dancing to music in her bedroom when no one is watching. Loves Jesus Christ with all of her heart. Check out her blog here to make her smile bigger then the man in the moon.
10.14.2011
as of late

prettyful.
{reading} adam - ted dekker
{listening} home - edward sharpe & the magnetic zeros
{drinking} cool glass of milk
{eating} fresh waffles with maple syrup
{anticipating} my brother's cousin's wedding this saturday
{loving} my fuzzy socks with stars on them
{looking} kinfolk magazine
{inspired by} the autumn on the trees
how about you?
-kiss kiss kiss, hug laminated photos-
post credit goes to abbey.
10.13.2011
apple crisp
"There is something beautiful about the baking process. The way flour feels in your hands or the sound of eggs cracking on the edge of a bowl. Baking is a gathering of interesting materials, a mixed medium art piece of sorts, that ends in a cake instead of a canvas." from tiger in a jar
today is one of those days, that starts off with eggs, bacon, and potatoes {equaling breakfast tacos}, the psat's, seeing one of your piano friends for the first time in months, and realizing the math section wasn't as bad as you thought it would be. and so, in celebration, after stopping by chick-fil-a to have a filling lunch and piano practice promptly following, before swim practice and before church, the making of apple crisp seems to be in order.
– Wendell Berry
ingredients
{for the apples}
4 to 6 apples {you can use any kind you like, we used honeycrisp}
1/2 cup flour
1/4 cup sugar
3 tablespoons lemon juice
3 tablespoons orange juice
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
optional: 1 teaspoon of orange & lemon zest
{for the crumble}
1 stick very cold, unsalted butter
3/4 cup flour
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup oats
directions
preheat the oven to 350.
cut the apples into 1/2 inch slices {be sure to core them}. put them in a bowl and add the flour, sugar, lemon & orange juice, cinnamon and nutmeg. add the zest if you like. toss it until it is just combined. place the apples in a baking dish, layering them on top of each other, set aside.
dice the butter and put it into a mixing bowl. add the flour, brown sugar, granulated sugar, salt, and oats, and mix until the butter looks like little peas. crumble on top of the apples, distributing it evenly. put the baking dish in the oven and bake for 30-35min, or until the crumble turns a golden brown.
this is a key step, please pay attention: after the crisp is cooled, put a hearty serving onto a plate, put on your favorite wool sweater, go outside and sit on the porch, and eat it with a good book on the side. i chose the help.
today is one of those days, that when after the crisp has been devoured and enjoyed, and you finish a book with satisfaction, you sit and watch the sunset, wrap your arms around yourself, and just smile.
and what better way to end this with a quote:
"A meal, according to my understanding anyhow, is a communal event, bringing together family members, neighbors, even strangers. At its most ordinary, it involves hospitality, giving, receiving and gratitude.”
– Wendell Berry
-kiss kiss kiss, hug jelly doughnut-
{pee ess: this post was written yesterday, but due to slight laziness and mesmerization from the crisp, it is being posted today.}
{pee pee ess: photo challenge soon. all things autumn, anyone?}
10.11.2011
expanding
i wasn't about to forget and do an as-if-none-of-this-ever-happened post after yesterday's post.
so, today i kind of want to expand on what i said yesterday, kind of set some things straight.
first, thank you guys for your feedback. i know i wasn't the only person who felt this way, and to be honest when i pressed the publish button i was about to delete the post and forget about the whole thing. last night i even succumbed to tears, but let's not get into that.
katie said: I think you have to look at it this way: they are people too. I'm close friends with several of the girls you mentioned, and life is not always happy and easy for them. For instance, Hannah's younger brother has struggled with a lot of things in his tiny life, and that's been hard on her. I don't know, I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here. I know I've struggled with the whole blogger jealousy thing before, so...I don't know. It's just that it's not that "everything they had seemed to be perfect." Okay, it may seem perfect, but it's not. I think it helps to keep that in mind.
well, katie, i understand what you mean. i guess you could say that before i thought of them as "robots who sucked the life out of every blogger's fun" and now that i do see them as people again, i understand that they do go through some terrible things. that's why i wrote this apology. to come clean to them, and to myself.
and last night, i even asked carlotta to read it. i don't know whether to just feel stupid or drop off the face of the earth. it doesn't matter to me whether she comments or not, i just want to know that she was here, and that she forgives me, you know? all of them, for that matter. the worst thing that could happen would be her saying "no" or hating me for the rest of my life.
and last night, i even asked carlotta to read it. i don't know whether to just feel stupid or drop off the face of the earth. it doesn't matter to me whether she comments or not, i just want to know that she was here, and that she forgives me, you know? all of them, for that matter. the worst thing that could happen would be her saying "no" or hating me for the rest of my life.
but then again, i did apologize, and, i suppose, that's all that matters.
-kiss kiss kiss, hug industrial sized pastry cream-
{pee ess:}

{me = dying for some coffee.}
10.10.2011
an apology
i don't really know to go about saying this.
people admire me for my honesty. and, this is one of those cases where i need to be honest. so honest, i'm almost afraid to do this. but it's something...that i need to do.
i remember when i first started blogging. i knew nothing about html's, and my posts where random and meaningless. i thought i was doing well, staying with this blog and all, until i saw some of the really popular blogs and realized i wasn't doing as much as i could've. i wanted the followers like they had, the comments, the photos, the life.
everything they had seemed to be perfect. their clothes. their families. everything seemed to be going right for them, and here i am, on the other side, just trying to make ends meet. and i realize that i'm becoming that onion libby posted about. i'm becoming that knobby part of the onion that no one's supposed to see. i see their blogs, i see the blogs they follow. they're all apart of the same pattern. they love vintage, they do their own photography, they've traveled the world. and i think to myself: why can't that be me? why can't i be one of them? if i was...maybe...maybe i'd be as popular as they are.
and i saw that i was being selfish. i made the blog look like...the perfect creme brûlée. when on the inside, i was becoming as bitter at that onion. i wanted to be like them so much that...i kind of lost track of who i was. of course i followed their blogs, i commented, and i said kind, encouraging words. but i never meant it. it almost seemed like i was fading into an anonymous wannabe.
i almost blamed them. i don't even know the reason. i thought that maybe if i excelled at what i did i'd surpass them and they'd be nothing anymore. i can't believe i'm telling you guys this, but, i've been dealing with things that weren't of me. the thoughts that came into my head weren't who i was. and i wanted to stop it, so i did.
and so...as awkward as this is, i want to say to carlotta, abbey, olivia, hannah...all of you guys, that i am so, so sorry, from the very bottom of my heart. i wasn't being the happy-go-lucky person i wanted to be, because i wasn't thankful for what i had. i don't have a dslr camera, my baking is rather drastic, and the closest i've been to getting out of the U.S. is probably the Gulf of Mexico. i hate nutella, and i can't find a single pair of oxfords in my size.
so, i was wondering if we could all start over? ironic, sara beth left a comment that said "i love how you can type those things up, but the people they are for never end up reading them!" well, in this case, i really, really hope you guys read it. and after this i don't even have the guts to ask you. because even though you probably have nary-a-clue who i am, and i don't know if you'll ever know, i need to apologize, and i need to throw that knobby little onion bit away, because that's not who i am.
um, hi, my name is jocelyn, i'm fourteen years old and i did what i had to do. and this probably isn't going to make it all better, but at least i did it.

and also i think these cupcakes look really good.
-kiss kiss kiss, hug a bejeweled football-
people admire me for my honesty. and, this is one of those cases where i need to be honest. so honest, i'm almost afraid to do this. but it's something...that i need to do.
i remember when i first started blogging. i knew nothing about html's, and my posts where random and meaningless. i thought i was doing well, staying with this blog and all, until i saw some of the really popular blogs and realized i wasn't doing as much as i could've. i wanted the followers like they had, the comments, the photos, the life.
everything they had seemed to be perfect. their clothes. their families. everything seemed to be going right for them, and here i am, on the other side, just trying to make ends meet. and i realize that i'm becoming that onion libby posted about. i'm becoming that knobby part of the onion that no one's supposed to see. i see their blogs, i see the blogs they follow. they're all apart of the same pattern. they love vintage, they do their own photography, they've traveled the world. and i think to myself: why can't that be me? why can't i be one of them? if i was...maybe...maybe i'd be as popular as they are.
and i saw that i was being selfish. i made the blog look like...the perfect creme brûlée. when on the inside, i was becoming as bitter at that onion. i wanted to be like them so much that...i kind of lost track of who i was. of course i followed their blogs, i commented, and i said kind, encouraging words. but i never meant it. it almost seemed like i was fading into an anonymous wannabe.
i almost blamed them. i don't even know the reason. i thought that maybe if i excelled at what i did i'd surpass them and they'd be nothing anymore. i can't believe i'm telling you guys this, but, i've been dealing with things that weren't of me. the thoughts that came into my head weren't who i was. and i wanted to stop it, so i did.
and so...as awkward as this is, i want to say to carlotta, abbey, olivia, hannah...all of you guys, that i am so, so sorry, from the very bottom of my heart. i wasn't being the happy-go-lucky person i wanted to be, because i wasn't thankful for what i had. i don't have a dslr camera, my baking is rather drastic, and the closest i've been to getting out of the U.S. is probably the Gulf of Mexico. i hate nutella, and i can't find a single pair of oxfords in my size.
so, i was wondering if we could all start over? ironic, sara beth left a comment that said "i love how you can type those things up, but the people they are for never end up reading them!" well, in this case, i really, really hope you guys read it. and after this i don't even have the guts to ask you. because even though you probably have nary-a-clue who i am, and i don't know if you'll ever know, i need to apologize, and i need to throw that knobby little onion bit away, because that's not who i am.
um, hi, my name is jocelyn, i'm fourteen years old and i did what i had to do. and this probably isn't going to make it all better, but at least i did it.

and also i think these cupcakes look really good.
-kiss kiss kiss, hug a bejeweled football-
10.09.2011
dear boys,
dear ryan,
after one month, you finally commit to buying me ice cream.
affectionately yours,
the girl who really likes ice cream.
dear dj,
i love phineas and ferb, too.
love,
never too old to be a kid.
dear random guy who looks like leonardo dicaprio,
you almost gave me a heart attack.
sincerely,
spazzy girl.
dear coach aubrey,
please, indulge us and let it rain. your ultimate power of clouds but no thunderstorms is exhausting.
from,
the girl who despises droughts.
dear daddy,
please, clean up the mess you made when you had your smoothie.
most ardently,
i'm sure mommy thinks the same thing.
dear noah,
hi, best friend ;)
yours truly,
rubbing it in courtney's face in an affectionate manner.
dear ernest,
you said you'd buy me a car. yellow camaro with a black stripe down the middle with bumblebee installed.
pleasure doing business with you,
transformers addict.
dear abeck,
you're getting taller. this is embarrassing.
incandescently,
the girl who wants to be superior in height.
since i suddenly want some coffee:

-kiss kiss kiss, hug gooey craisins-
{pee ess: i'm a finalist in kel's photo challenge! go check it out :))}
{pee ess: it rained. IT FLIPPIN RAINED. the little stream just outside my backyard is flooding. that's how hard it rained. -insert me doing a major spastic happy dance- :D}
after one month, you finally commit to buying me ice cream.
affectionately yours,
the girl who really likes ice cream.
dear dj,
i love phineas and ferb, too.
love,
never too old to be a kid.
dear random guy who looks like leonardo dicaprio,
you almost gave me a heart attack.
sincerely,
spazzy girl.
dear coach aubrey,
please, indulge us and let it rain. your ultimate power of clouds but no thunderstorms is exhausting.
from,
the girl who despises droughts.
dear daddy,
please, clean up the mess you made when you had your smoothie.
most ardently,
i'm sure mommy thinks the same thing.
dear noah,
hi, best friend ;)
yours truly,
rubbing it in courtney's face in an affectionate manner.
dear ernest,
you said you'd buy me a car. yellow camaro with a black stripe down the middle with bumblebee installed.
pleasure doing business with you,
transformers addict.
dear abeck,
you're getting taller. this is embarrassing.
incandescently,
the girl who wants to be superior in height.
since i suddenly want some coffee:

-kiss kiss kiss, hug gooey craisins-
{pee ess: i'm a finalist in kel's photo challenge! go check it out :))}
{pee ess: it rained. IT FLIPPIN RAINED. the little stream just outside my backyard is flooding. that's how hard it rained. -insert me doing a major spastic happy dance- :D}
10.08.2011
autumn bouquets {a guest post by ashlyn}
fall is an amazing time of the year. it's my favorite season, period.
but with the first frost, our favorite flowers that we use to make beautiful bouquets that fill the windowsill wither away and die.
but an autumn bouquet is even better.
bursting with red, orange, yellow, and a lil' of green, 'tis truly beautiful!
S t e p O n e
get your sister. she wears her pink flip flops and you wear your favorite boots you've been dying to wear.
a cool morning is ideal, about ten o' clock. perfect.
S t e p T w o
get to clippin'! clip away! The burning bush: check. That one that needs severely trimmed: check. That one that is beautifully orange: check. That small tree? oh yes.even that blueberry bush that never bears fruit because the black birds eat the buds and it doesn't grows and you have tried everything- that bush? probably shouldn't have, but I did. ahem.
leaves- any clippings will do. as long as they say "autumn."
S t e p T h r e e
bring those all inside. sort them all out. you might want to assure your mom that those crunchy leaves will get cleaned up from the floor, table, and counters- you promise!
S t e p F o u r
clip of all the extra leaves not needed. the bright green ones that aren't even touched with a kiss of autumn.
S t e p F i v e
get a vase. pitcher. if anything, a mason jar. fill it with water. 'tis truly wonderful.
S t e p S i x
start doing the fun part! arrange them every which way. it's all good.
S t e p S e v e n
add some ribbon and a little lovely note.
"welcome, autumn!"
"hello, fall!"
anything will do.
S t e p E i g h t
step back and enjoy.
{or make a second one....}
ps. thanks, Jocee, for having me!
pss. I have to admit this guest post stemmed from another guest post. hoping you'll check it out!
About your author:
hi there, so glad you are here. my name is ashlyn nicole. I'm a child of the King, oldest to six, and daughter who is home schooled and in high school. I am a...photographer, writer, piano player, blog designer. i love photoshop, nutty bars, jewelry, coffee, modest fashion, blogging, lightroom, bokeh, card making, photo editing, old movies and the Andy Griffith show. that pretty much defines me.
blog - flickr - free blog design - email '
thank you so much, Jocee, for letting me guest post! it was incredibly fun!<3
thank you so much, Jocee, for letting me guest post! it was incredibly fun!<3
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