9.20.2012

fiction fridays (on a thursday), part five.

Photobucket
original photo // typography by me
She was beautiful. And she was told that a lot. Mostly by guys who came in groups of two or three around her table. They usually said "I'm sorry to be so forward, but you're really beautiful." She'd smile and say thank you, and they'd go on to impress her, but she didn't flirt back like you'd think, she'd take it well; like a lady would. 
     He sat a few tables away, in a raised section with a lot of booths, and he'd draw the way her dark eyelashes intersected on the napkins he hadn't used. He was like Sherlock in a way, studying the ways most guys were subdued in nature when they got to talking to her; the way their palms rested on the edge of a table; one almost tipped it over once, which really got a reaction out of her. They always started and ended with the fact that she was beautiful. And she was. She was told that a lot. But he wasn't one of the guys who told her. Oh, he wanted to; gosh, he wanted to tell her. 
     He wanted to tell her that her eyes popped like bubblegum and her lips angled like the slope from her waist to her hips; that she was the girl his little sister wanted to be when she grew up; that her voice was like hot tea on a sore throat; that he impulsively wanted to kiss the freckle on her bottom lip that she always tried to hide and the dimples in her collarbone--
     When he thought of that, he made a soft noise in the back of his throat that she managed to hear, and they locked eyes for the first time.

a day early or weeks late, whichever you prefer, this is a short story that's been brewing in me recently, like those two cups of coffee i impulsively drank (but they were delicious, mind you) and thus got me higher than a space shuttle (that was the night i fell in love with my nose). i don't know. i just like stories like these. not giving too much away, letting the reader use their imagination, too, and stopping at a point where you know you could go farther. my passion has grown, it has burst, and i can't get enough of it. 

-kiss kiss kiss, on the good ship lollipop-
{pea ess: i seriously hate the new blogger interface. i want to inter its face!}
{pea pea ess: post credit goes to rachel.}
{pea pea pea ess: inspired by this.}

25 comments :

  1. um, yep. this is beautiful and i love this. those last lines. good grief. write a story for me, okay? :) xo, h

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  2. hoo lord, this was lovely. your writing is amazing.

    (and what's funny is, i just finished my first story in three months, and was going to publish it tomorrow. great minds think alike.) xo

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  3. this is lovely. stories like these excite me! wonderfully written. x - Jianine
    (and p.s. i don't like the new blogger interface as well! hmph)

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  4. that was fantastic. i loved it :)thanks for posting it!

    and as for the new blogger interface...ugg. have u relized that it only [only mind you] lets you click and open one blog @ a time? *ROAR* well, i'd better not dwell on it [things might get bloody]

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  5. Oh lord, it hasn't changed on my dash yet. I.dread.it. but seriously jocee, you have talent. Fo real. I love every detail, I could really imagine it in my head. Is that weird? Of course not. I'm in love with your writing.

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  6. I was engrossed in this story the entire time. You're a excellent writer, Jocee. You really should publish a novel. (I would be the first one in line to buy it!)
    The imagery is fantastic! I felt like I was in the room with this beautiful girl, watching everything happen. Incredible.
    When did you begin writing? Where did you learn your techniques/style?
    Do you have any tips for writers like myself? (I'm in that writer's block stage, and I feel that all the writing that I've done thus far, has gone to crap.)

    Lovely, Jocee! Extraordinarily lovely. <3

    ~Kate @ in pursuit

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    Replies
    1. oh, dearie, i'm going to publish something. and i'll probably get to sign yours!

      now, for your questions:
      i don't remember ever "beginning" to write. i think of it as something i've always done. now, my memory may come back, but that's what i remember for right now. as far as my techniques/style are concerned: i think i just read other people's writings and found what i like, what i didn't like, and went from there. i think the best writers learn from some of the greatest books ever written. but the greatest book ever written is different for everyone. it may be the classics, charles dickens, etc, or john green. whoever you admire, then good for you! learn from them.
      for advice: i say just write. when i say just write, i mean don't worry on whether or not it'll be god. write about that annoying strand of hair in his face that you just want to move over or pluck out, even. write about the coffee stains on your kitchen counter from your mom's favourite mug. anything. literally anything. and the inspiration will come. :)

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  7. This is so beautiful :) You're so talented! (Also, you should get Figment because that would be, like, so totes cool an' all that) And your typography is amazing, do you use a certain programme? :)
    Kimmy x
    Ps. I'm very tired and hyper, sorry if this comment makes no sense...

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  8. This is so lovely. Seriously.
    xo Heather
    http://ahopelessnotebook.blogspot.com/

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  9. this is absolutely lovely. I love this line: "that was the night i fell in love with my nose"
    :)

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  10. I love short stories like these. ones where you leave the reader hanging, where you reveal only a sliver of the full cake, make questions haunt their mind for hours.

    xx.
    k

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  11. I smell Plagiarism.
    It's a pity when an "author" can't even come up with her own writing style/plot line/ or analogies. You are an embarrassment to the blogger/writer/creative community.

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    Replies
    1. yes, and when i win an oscar for best original score will i still be an embarrassment?
      i mean, i'm sorry, but you just can't bring me down.
      writing is what you make it, like photography. it is who you are deep inside, and not everyone is the same when it comes to that. there's classical, r&b, hip-hop, country, etc, and like there are genres of music, there are genres of writing.
      and i'm making a new genre.
      me.
      oh Lord. i'm turning into tony stark.
      seriously though, i don't want to sound mean, but this only motivates me. so thank you.
      so much. (seriously this made my day)

      Delete
    2. To Anonymous,
      I smell Jealousy.
      Someone like you just doesn't even need to comment at all. Jocee is a superb writer, and I highly doubt that she "plagiarized" anything. If you're so sure, where's the proof?
      I'm very sorry that you felt the need to put another human being down. People usually do that when they feel intimidated.

      ~Kate @ in pursuit

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    3. Jocee,
      You go girl! *high five*
      You are amazing, and you have an equally amazing positive attitude. Optimism will get you far in your life.

      You're an inspiration! <3

      ~Kate @ in pursuit

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    4. I just know that this is a farce because I know the person who wrote the original. All you did was throw Sherlock in there and a couple other bits if really poor grammar.

      I, am also a writer and I know for a fact you've stolen bits of my writing as well.

      Just a bit fed up with your originality that's all. Not saying you won't win an Oscar, just saying that you won't have earned it.

      Delete
    5. http://jelysm93.tumblr.com/post/30193305625/onabedoflace-oh-my-god-this-is-so-beautiful

      http://pinterest.com/pin/224968943856586761/

      two links to an ALL TOO familiar story written by someone with my too raw a talent.

      Delete
    6. i was inspired by these things, yes, and i forgot to put them in the post because i was in such a rush. i'll fix that now.
      however, how can you be fed up with originality? that doesn't make any sense to me. if i wrote something that was very similar to you, then i'm sorry, but i didn't steal it, and that's that.
      and everyone who's won an academy award has earned it. trust me, if i didn't earn what i have then i wouldn't have it, so.

      please apologise to the writer for me because i didn't mean to steal her writing (or him) but you're not going to bring me down. and i don't even know if you're trying to. have a good day!

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    8. You are one of the BEST writers I know, Jocee. Don't let anyone get you down!!

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  12. I wish I could tell you in every comment I write on your blog how talented you are.
    You're amazing, you know that?
    Gosh, you should be a writer or something.
    Seriously, you're awesome. I wait every single day for your posts to come out and I can't wait to read them. You always impress me.
    ~Jenny

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  13. ah ah ah ah ah ah aaaaahhhhh. all the lovely metaphors and such... i can't even. <3

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  14. Woah. You are such a genius. <3 lovely story.

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  15. The original author of that poem that inspired you can be found at wisps.tumblr.com. I can tell where you got your inspiration, but I love where you took it, too. It's not a farce at all. You really can write, dear. And I love that typography!

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  16. I love this, Jocee. It as being something that could happen easily, but you've got words that make it into a lovesong.

    You are so awesome.
    -Gabby

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sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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