2.09.2013

to hear you smile; to light up a room.


original photo // typog. by me.
You seem like the person to, after all festivities are concluded and your house is empty of others, curl up on the sofa with fuzzy slippers and read every card and evaluate every gift with great detail. 
          So you do. 
         The birthday pudding they made you in your favourite coffee cup, served al a mode (and maybe with a splash of espresso), sits in your lap as you reopen the small box and delicately fold back the blue tissue paper. A watch, from the friend who always notices the little details and realises you forget to check your phone when you want to know what time it is. Electronics are always welcome, lightly overdone but welcome. As you think this you tap yourself in the head, reminding yourself that you are so blessed to even know and love the amount of people who cared about you enough to spend your 32nd birthday with you. You smile at the note they left, which reads (short and to-the-point): "Now, if you look at your wrist, the time will magically appear." Your laugh arises and comes out easily, a small 'ehe' that echoes off the tall ceilings of your home. 
       The next several gifts are a menagerie of cards and things that you needed just as much as you wanted, with thoughtful words that make you stroke your chin in disbelief. There's the reminder again: You are so blessed to know and love so many people. 
The last gift (perfect timing) that you come upon is from your mother. No box, no fancy string, just an envelope that's folded in and not licked. As you open it, slowly, preserving every detail, you set aside the gift card that's beside the note. You hold the note between your thumb and forefinger, reading it over and over again. Meditating on it. 
        "Buy yourself some new shirts." Short and to-the-point, like the first note.
You laugh again, a splashing onto the page. But you're not sad, no, not at all. She didn't write a long, heartfelt note stating how proud she is of you, how privileged she is to see you turn another year older, because you can hear her saying it to you even though she's not there.
       "I remember you young. Watching films and cartoons and imitating the characters that were your favourite. You were always gifted, sweetheart, and I don't say that because I'm your mother, I say that because it's true. And I'm not just talking about acting. You always had a way of... making people comfortable. Your smile, goodness, your smile, darling. You could light up a room. Still can! And people don't even have to see it. To hear you smile, to hear you laugh, to feel the atmosphere get a bit warmer and see pleasant, involuntary smiles appear on people's faces was and is one of the most beautiful things I have had the privilege of experiencing. You make people feel welcome, you know that? Gosh, you've even had the Queen of England Herself taken aback by your charm! I couldn't have asked for a better son, for a better human being to grow with and nurture and see succeed in so many ways. Everyone is in love with you. Not... not in the way you think. They are in love with your character. The characters you play. The way you put yourself into the people you portray. You are a gift to the world, Tom. You are my gift to the world. And to see you turn a year older... a promising year of extraordinary things... gosh I could get sentimental thinking of it. I just... I just love you, Thomas. Always and forever. Now, carry on. But buy yourself those shirts." 
       You're crying now, tears that can only be explained by the note that is now wrinkled with water from your listerine blue eyes. But that is okay. 
     You read it again, all of the cards, chewing the words as though they're what keeps you breathing. You curl up tighter, pulling the slipping slipper around your right foot. And there's that reminder again: You are blessed, You are loved. 

happy birthday, mr. hiddleston. you have such an influence and deserve so much respect that no, mr. hiddleston is not your father, it's you. and i say that with the greatest admiration. unfortunately, cupcakes don't go agree with international travel, so this is the next best thing i could do. i hope you like it. it's just something i made up. i don't know if it happened or if your mom even got you a giftcard telling you to buy some new shirts. but i do know that you are blessed, and that you are loved.

-kiss kiss kiss, free fallin'-
{pea ess: you guys, please. let him know this is exists. help me tell him that he's blessed and loved. because i really want him to read it.}

23 comments :

  1. this was so heart felt it made me really sad actually... love you gurl. <3

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  2. this is too presh for words. also, tweeted the hiddles for ya. i'm sure he'll see it, dahling. xx

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  3. This was do cleverly written and cool, Jocee!!!

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  4. I heard Tom Hiddleston doesn't speak to his parents

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    1. i really don't know about his personal life, but i hope he knows that i only have good intentions when writing this :)

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  5. Speechless. Just like those moments whenever I see Tom Hiddleston. And when he smiles, the world seriously stops turning. And that's the same way I feel now, after reading this beautiful, blessed message which you've written to him. He so has to read this! (So let's try to make it happen, shall we?)

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  6. One, your typography never ceases to STUN me. Two, this is cute. I really do hope he reads this. And if he does? I can't wait to be at the wedding!

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  7. This is so sweet, Jocee. And an excellent job. <3

    hugs,
    ~bree

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  8. uhm i love you. and although i'm not a huge tom fan. sorry! but this is just too cute. xx

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  9. um... yes. lovely. I love the picture.

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  10. Woah. This. Is. Beautiful.

    Unfortunately I do not have contact to Mr. Hiddleston...But I'm sure if he reads this, he'll be amazed, just like everyone else. :)

    Love,
    ~Jenny

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  11. Awwwww!! For Hiddles!!! I loved this!!:) Tweeting him for ya, hun!

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  12. and this, jocee, is why i love you so much. :D this was so sweet, and if i had a way to get a hold of the hiddles for ya, then i would tell him to march down to texas and snatch that little sweetheart named jocee right up!
    and yeah. when he smiles? totally lights up a room. and his voice is just therapeutic.
    (did jess tell you the plan? she gets richard armitage, i get benedict c., and you get hiddles, and we all live in a big house together in london, and benedict and i are going to adopt marcus mumford because he's just an adorable teddy bear. i was claiming hiddles at first, but then i self-sacrificially gave him up after i realized your fanship of him exceeds mine. you're welcome.)

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    1. you are precious.
      thank you for letting me have tom! ;) <3

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  13. This is really awesome. He is simply amazing <3

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  14. you're the sweetest, jocee.

    xx's from england!


    pom

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  15. this is awesome! i was just wondering where you get the fonts u use from?
    thanks!
    http://feathers-and-arrows.blogspot.co.uk/

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  16. you're so raw and uninhibited. i love that.

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  17. awww! this is perfect! love the way you weave words together, dear jocee -- you are truly a writer and I admire that about you. I hope tom gets to read this! :)

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  18. I love.love.love getting comments from you. Did you know that? <3

    Here's the link to that photo: http://pinterest.com/pin/90846117455277448/

    - kiss kiss kiss - eat lotsa chocolate for me! <3

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  19. Stunning typog! What is the font, may I ask?

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    1. jacques & gilles and bergamont ornaments :)

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sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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