symptoms that i am in too deep.

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clammy hands and nervous sweats.

stardust that cannot be fathomed into stars that cannot be fathomed into constellations (stomach butterflies, if you will).

shaky breathing.

incessant showing of teeth (smiling).

stumbling over words.

tapping of feet.

sudden self-consciousness (outside).

sudden self-worth contemplation (inside).

the inability to look you in the eyes most of the time.

you told me, on the night of the super bowl party, that maybe i'd waded in too deep.

i replied "oh honey. i nosedived in."

i write this when i probably shouldn't be, while you're sitting next to me. song lyrics and fragmented sentences etched into our arms with blue pens whose ink is splotchy. horrible prose and translations of spanish. i know looking into people's eyes is your forte, but when it comes to you, i cannot do it for fear of all my secrets spilling onto your arms at once; 

and i know your arms are already filled with secrets of your own.

i saw him, yesterday. bits and pieces of what happened.
-kiss kiss kiss, i'm so afraid of-