#idowhatiwant (unless my mom says no.)

so here's the problem with blogging. everyone is trying to find something that is completely unheard of and never before seen to base themselves off of. everyone is trying to be the original that hundreds of bloggers post about on a daily basis. everyone is trying SO hard to be different, a new kind of different that no one else has ever been. and it's not working. what people don't realize (especially now) is nothing new is under the sun. within this century and the century past, everything has been produced in any way, form or fashion. just because someone just started doing it again doesn't mean it's brand new. let me give you a 'for instance': converse rapidly came back in style a few years ago. my grandma was wearing them in the 40's. vinyl albums, skinny jeans, a sudden burst of veganism? it's been done within your life and the lives before you.

so i don't see what the problem is. i don't see why we're trying to be an original that only lies within a virtual space. the internet doesn't exist just as much as it does. and we depend on it so much, maybe too much, to impress others and show them who we are -- or who we'd like to be. in blogging, we can show the [internet] world anyone we'd like to. we can be ourselves or just about anyone else. we don't have to show who we really are, that's our choice. but lately, it's become the trend to start fresh, renew ourselves and our spaces. and unfortunately, we've all be renewing in the exact same way. we all try so hard to be different but end up exactly the same. and the worst part is, the originality we want lies within us. we may have twins, triplets, quintuplets. we may look alike and like the same things, but we are NOT the same person. each of us is unique. we all have a different perspective, even if it's different in the slightest way. we cannot be cloned because our DNA is specific to us, not anyone else. and it is okay to like things that other people like. but that doesn't make us just like them.

which brings me to the inspiration fad. they all tell you not to look to photographers, writers, basic artists for inspiration. they tell you that because they don't want you to directly copy from them. and that is understandable, but you know what? i believe in gathering inspiration. whether it be from pinterest or tumblr or any site, really. if you see it and you like it, there is no reason why you shouldn't do it. but don't do it because someone else did, do it because YOU want to. and i can guarantee that unless you copy and paste, a part of you will be added to what you saw. bloggers (and artists or glorified individuals, really) constantly complain about how everything is starting to blend and look the same. but in reality? they are blending as well, consciously or not. but they have created themselves in such a way that they are molded into a specific formation. and if they stray from that formation, their followers will go find someone else to idolize.

in blogging, we cannot post everything we want to because of the [sub]conscious fear how our readers will perceive it. if they like it, basically. our optimistic nature when it comes to blogging has been frayed because we know HOW to get people to look at what we've taken the time to create. we are put into a box because if we go outside the box, no one will look, no one will care.

grace, you tell me i challenge this thing called blogging. you tell me i challenge and redefine the word 'real.' if you don't mind, i'm going to challenge you right back--do what you want. i don't care who's done it or how long ago they made it live on the internet. if you like it, do it. our blogging ruts have been caused by internet-fast crazes and boycotts of the things we love (because everyone else is doing it). this is a form of peer-pressure, if you think of it. so i'm pressuring you to be original within yourself. someone may replicate what you do, but it will not be exact because of the nature YOU possess. don't take a blogging/internet break if you don't want to. don't quit tumblr or social media because someone else did. it's YOUR blog, it's YOUR space, it's YOUR art. and no one can dictate that for you. so do me a favour, don't tell me you love this. DO NOT TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THIS. tell me why it matters to you, tell me the doubts you've been having about blogging and tell me what you've been hesitant to post lately because of the way you think it'll be received. (tell me about my run-on sentences.) tell me who you want to be seen as, and tell me how you're going to make steps toward becoming the person you are off the internet. just don't tell me you love this. because if you only love this, you've missed the whole point.

-kiss kiss kiss, the night that-
{pea ess: if you want to read more about this topic, here's megan's post, eve's post, and a truthful [albeit hilarious] take on internet breaks.}


  1. love your voice, jocee, and how you aren't afraid to say what you mean and what you want to. you rock. xx.
    p.s. is it still a thing to say "you rock?" i don't remember. but #idowhatiwant.

    can i just come to texas and give you a hug right now?! because this is what i've been feeling the past week but haven't been able to put into words. especially this " (and artists or glorified individuals, really) constantly complain about how everything is starting to blend and look the same. but in reality? they are blending as well, consciously or not. but they have created themselves in such a way that they are molded into a specific formation. and if they stray from that formation, their followers will go find someone else to idolize."

    and all the rest of it, too. you're amazing, ok?!

  3. I love this because we've covered this topic, and I love your genuine, intelligent answers. The end. xoox

  4. I am not going to tell you how much I love this... but you know how I feel. Honestly, my doubts about blogging mostly stem from being afraid to lose friends. I've lost friends because of what I believe, what I like, etc, and it hurt. Maybe, since this has been one of the most successful ways for me to connect with others, I'm afraid to be myself and risk that people won't like what they see.

    That's just me.

    1. well, no matter what happens with them, i will always be here. :)

    2. Jess, be yourself! I love you for the who I know you as when we've talked, and I would never walk away from that. You're a blessing :)

  5. this.
    i don't even know where to begin. but thank you, jocee.
    thank you for this challenge. you took my thoughts and formed them into something coherent and thank you. i have so many post drafts that are full of my deepest thoughts and darkest fears that i have been afraid to publish because i know they probably won't get much feedback, or they might get negative feedback, and i might loose followers for various reasons and for some stupid reason i found myself caring about numbers and the other people out there and somewhere along the way i quit blogging for myself and started blogging for others.
    but this, this post. i'm not afraid anymore. i don't care about what people think anymore.
    i don't care. i don't want to blog for others, whether subconsciously or not.
    i am me for a reason. i am here, on this earth, with a blog, for a reason. and gosh darnit, i'm going to use my blog, my thoughts, words, my ability to communicate, for whatever God decides to use me for. i don't care if people don't like it. and thank you for challenging me.

    also, challenge accepted.
    BRING. IT. ON.

  6. I hope you don't mind that I say that I absolutely love this post. I have sometimes felt bad that I'm not being original enough in my posts or stuff like that. But usually, I just really let myself show myself out...because I'm bad about that. :P

  7. I wrote about something like this a couple of months ago here: http://fabigaelle.blogspot.com/2012/10/just-some-thoughts.html

    I feel like people fall into two categories: Those who are afraid to be different, and Those who are afraid to be the same. And the problem with both groups is that they're too worried about what others think, their popularity, their reputation, etc. People who try to stand out are trying just as hard as the people who try to blend in. They want a reaction from the crowd. They want to either feel like an innovator, or "part of the in-crowd". I just wish people did whatever they wanted without worrying about whether they look like everyone else or if they look too different from everyone else.

  8. now that i think about it... i do limit myself to what to post about because i don't know how people would respond. i don't post my art on my blog because i'm scared my "readers" would think i was weird. i'm not as scared as i used to be about posting my feelings... and yet i am still hesitant because i don't want to scare people off with my thoughts. plus i am kind of hesitant because my parents have my blog link (because after all i started it in the 6th grade and was super proud and showed it off to them all the time)... but now i'm growing up and i have different perspectives and my blog has become sort of a more "private" place even though its (ha-ha) on the internet and i have "300 sum" readers. my life is not perfect but i am scared that if i post about imperfections that people will be scared off.

    incidentally , i want to be different, but i am becoming just like everyone else and it sucks. i've always been into photography and writing and painting and free people clothing and etc. but now it seems like everyone is like that too and it makes me sad.

    okay im sorry i just went on ranting forever but i thought since you don't want me to comment what i usually comment on everyone's posts, i thought i'd write you a novel.

    p.s (please don't mind the errors i don't really want to look over and revise this.)

    1. i don't look over just about anything when it comes to comments... ;)
      but seriously? this is beautiful because it is you. and i've been thinking this for awhile now, actually. what i mean to say is, i've been thinking about you, praying for you. and i want you to know that i'm here whenever, okay? whenever everything's good, whenever everything is not good.
      and you know what? like photography, like writing, like free people (even though it's ridiculously expensive). don't change your likes just because other people like them as well. i think this was the way you were wired, and i think you should be proud of it. :) <3

    2. i feel so blessed that i have people i've never even met or spoken to caring about me and praying for me. thank you for being there jocee... you're such a wonderful person and even though we've never met i like to call you my friend. :)

  9. Yes. Yes. Yes. Amen. I agree. How else can I say it? Both you and Megan captured my scattered thoughts in lovely words. I can only hope that more bloggers will read this and appreciate it like I have and maybe, just maybe, we can stop talking about being real and actually start blogging reality.
    Thank you so much.



  11. oh god.
    so convicted.
    i don't have a blog, but i struggle with this ALL. THE. FLIPPING. TIME. not only in the internet world, but in life in general. i have a really bad "people-pleasing" personality (yes, everyone does, but some to more of an extent than others), and it leaks into everything i do. i'm afraid to repin stuff on pinterest because people might unfollow me or whatever. i won't share certain things on facebook because it's not "christian" enough or "hipster" enough. if i see a popular blogger or a well-liked friend into something, i'll get "into" it, just to feel like i'm cool (gah, that sounds so laaaaaame). there's such a pressure to be "cool" and like everyone else, and there's an equal pull to be "hipster" and be completely and wholly original and unique. we all end up in the same place, the same rut, the same stinky mess. i want to be totally unafraid to just be ME. alexxus kristyn. no gimmicks. no hypocricy. no masks. i like what i like, i do what i want, and nooooobody is gonna freaking stop me. i'll say "rad" if i want, i'll say things like "the cat's pajamas" and the "bee's knees". i'll wear long skirts from my mother's closet, i'll sing one direction or justin bieber from the top of my lungs and in the same breath sing lyrics from birdy or the xx or some weird band a lot of people don't know. because that's ME.
    *end of novel*
    jocee, you rock. I seriously love you for this... hah. :)

  12. DO NOT TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THIS. Hah. Haha. That will be hard, but I don't want to look as if I've missed the point, because I think I know exactly what it is you're talking about.

    AHHHHHHHHHHH *headdesk* (and that would be a Hank head desk, not a John head desk)
    That was for the internet/people in general, not you.
    So many people tell other people that what those other people are creating is copyrighted/copying/unoriginal.
    Like ANYTHING is original. NOTHING is original. The only original human being is God, and He's not even a human being.
    Something starts, and we all follow. Something becomes popular and we all want it. Something is the fad and we all chase after it. It gets to the point where I'm just like CAN WE ALL JUST NOT FOLLOW SOMETHING BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING. CAN WE LIKE THINGS FOR OURSELVES BUT ALSO LIKE THINGS OTHER PEOPLE LIKE WITHOUT PEOPLE TELLING US WE'RE UNORIGINAL FOR LIKING THAT.
    Can we all just LIVE our LIVES. Not worry or care about other people. People are just people. People shouldn't make us scared or subjective. That's what I keep having to tell myself, because I'M the victim of this internet/world unoriginal scandal too. And I'm the victim because I made myself be.

    So anyway.
    Have a lovely day.

    1. you are so cool. posting a follow-up on this post tomorrow.
      also i approve of your hank head/desk even though i don't get it at all. just the fact that his last name is green is enough to make me smile.

  13. AMEN AMEN AMEN! girl, this is amazing! fantastic! brilliant! {and yes, that's in David Tennant's voice just for you, doll ;)}. thanks for shouting this on the rooftops.
    I've thought this a million times o'er with another one of my good friends; and lately, I've been struggling to follow this. but this has been such an encouragement. xoxo | grace

  14. Thanks for this. This meant a lot to me because it's what I think about all the time...what I think that I am the only believing. It's so hard to be real, but even when we try we don't have to be "perfect" at being real. We all make a mark on the world by just being. We all are different even if we like the same things. We can like something that's mainstream and still be us. And part of it is even viewing ourselves as an individual, and really when we're trying to be someone we're not online, all of our readers are really missing out...on who we really are. This...this was so good.

    You are such an inspiration.

  15. Really encouraging, what you've written...when I post, I don't really do it to impress others, or to become popular or gain more followers etc...heck, if I did, I'd be in an awful place! I just post, to remember things from my teenaged years...look back on all the memories and feel proud that I've documented them. Won't it be so interesting in ten years to look back on what we were like as girls?! I CAN'T WAIT!!!
    So I haven't missed your point AND...I do love this a lot, Jocee! :D

    this post has basically made me feel so reassured. i always see things that inspire me, try to copy//inspire myself with them then feel really bad about it..
    but i guess the people i've copied have copied someone else right.
    p.s that title is so true...

  17. I love this because it's something that has been on my heart a lot lately. Not the "reinventing to something new", but the "I'm not sure if I should post this because I don't know if my readers will like it".
    My blog has always been about my life.. anything and everything going on with it. I really think that Satan has been attacking me, telling me to keep my mouth shut about my day to day struggles and achievements. Thank you for writing this post. For reminding me to stay true to who I am. I really needed this.

    BTW I adore your blog. Just sayin.

  18. Jocee, you are SO beast.

    I get stuck in this cycle too. Because a lot of the time, people don't read my blog. Or at least, I get hardly any comments. So I start to post the things that I think people will wanna read. If people respond to a post full of pictures, then I start to do that, even when a lot of the time I'd rather just write about whatever I feel like. I mean, picture-posts are cool but I don't wanna do them just because "that's what people like". No more. And like, honestly, so-and-so quit tumblr? That's all well and good but I don't wanna quit. Because I'm a shameless tumblr-lover, and, it's not gonna 'declutter my spiritual life' or whatever.

    Let's just say... every revolution begins with a spark. ;)


  20. And also,

    let's just stop catering to others and just blog what we desire! If not, it will take the fun and joy in what we do/write/post/share.

  21. Thank you this much for posting this, Jocee. Everybody in the blogging community needs to hear this.

  22. You are my favorite and you always know exactly what to say. Let's not make this long, I've seriously tried to imitate bloggers forever. FOREVER. And I'm seriously gonna srop. By the way, have you seen the new template, like the way it's organized?


  23. Yep, Jocee. You're the best. Thank you so much for writing this all down. It's good to read it all in one place now instead of just scattered in our little afternoon chat boxes. :) Like I've said before; I'm trying so hard to post what ever I like on my blog and not care at all what anyone says about it. Sure, it's really awesome to see tons of comments from people praising how beautiful your mask is, and how it's so much more unique than the other masks at the party, but it's still just a mask and those people wear one too. Getting myself out of that false circle of praise wasn't all that fun, but I think worth it because now I have people who I feel have seen under that frilly mask and don't care abou the disfigurement underneath. It's a great feeling.

    Oh, and Jocee? I love this.


  24. holy smokes I love that picture & this post. perfect.


sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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