5.24.2013

fiction fridays, part nine.

the first time she suggested it, it was funny.
"maybe one day, if i get sick, you'll have to be my doctor! you'll take care of me, right?"
"of course," the doctor would always say, crawling into his bed like the turtle into his shell. (he treasures sleep like the dead do.)
sometimes, she'd even pretend to cough as he took off his raincoat. [ahem, ahem] "i'm sick."
he'd kiss her on the cheek and retract again.
the best thing about her, the doctor thought, was that he didn't meet her in the hospital.
she was just a person in a place, with light in her eyes and a laugh always at the ready.
she was whole - he didn't have to make a life or death decision the first time he looked at her.
they could just be, and that was all he could ask for.
but one night, after a 75/25 chance of survival became a 50/50, the doctor came home to a muffled cry.
a slender yet veiny hand through her black waves and he saw her blotched red face.
the doctor, the turtle, retracted into his shell. never again to be fully exposed.

and they both knew.

-kiss kiss kiss, just like a ghost-

13 comments :

  1. You know I love this. SO so talented girl.. love you! xo

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  2. #JOCEEmakesmeSPEECHLESS
    the end.

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  3. um.
    um.
    um.
    ...nope. i'm done. i tried finding words, but none are forthcoming. i'll just say this made me speechless, then go read it again and cry quietly, mkay?

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  4. mmm... wow. this is powerful.

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  5. i cannot. this is so wonderful x

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  6. Oh my goodness...Jocee.
    Crazy talented you.

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  7. I love this.
    I write flash fiction as well.

    dreaming is believing

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  8. You're really creative. This screams to be read.

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  9. These words are breathless. It inspires me to write short fiction and to be able to inspire that easily, says it all.

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  10. that is sooo creepy sounding!!! is this a book you're writing?????

    love,
    manda
    http://meandjesus-amanda.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. no, these are short, unattached pieces that are intended to be fragmented, leaving you hanging. it's meant to be... well... just heartbreaking... but creepy works as well. ;)

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  11. i loooooove these. THIS is what i write for, basically. i love novels, and i love short stories. but i especially love micro stories. this one is beautiful and heartbreaking and makes me go "WHAT" internally. cool stuff.

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sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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