this is what you do when you need someone who is not there:

you remind yourself to breathe. in, out. in, out. in, out.
you make yourself something to eat, you make yourself eat. 
you sing the song they would've sung to you had they been there.
and yes, you sound like a maniac for doing it. 
you laugh like everything's fine in front of your family
and immerse yourself in the characters on the tv. 
for the love of peace, you do not cry. 
because you don't think you deserve it. 
but not crying
is partly what got you here in the first place. 

the truth is, woman, 
i need you right now. 
and if you don't come,
i don't know what i'll do. 


  1. oh, oh, oh. this is perfect. ugh. heartbreakingly beautiful.

  2. this is way to accurate right now. ugh. jocee, why do you have to always write perfection, eh? you're amazing, doll. xx

  3. Jocee, I've never actually cried at your blog before, but I'm crying now. My best friend in the whole world lives over two thousand miles away, and in a couple more weeks I'll not have seen in her in a whole, solid year. This just... really strikes a chord. Because sometimes I feel like those two thousand miles are not a result of me living in the South and her in the middle of Canada, but this physical thing that literally holds me back from her for years at a time.

    So thanks for this. I needed it, and I really do mean that.

    1. thank you for understanding.
      but she is less than 15min away from me.
      and for some reason, that hurts even more.

  4. I was totally thinking about someone while reading this.
    this is beautiful, Jocee. just BEAUTIFUL.


  5. well, this is quite perfect and just what i needed. thank you for this post, i love it.

  6. This is beautiful and so true and like, I can relate to this but in a different way. When I am sad or upset, I don't show my emotions. I do laugh as if everything is fine, and I keep it inside me. Which I am trying not to do because humans are supposed to have emotion. So I vent. I talk about it with my friend who lives in California, because she doesn't live where I am, and she is such a great listener. I like to vent to people who aren't close to me, or who aren't in my area because they have way different points of view than those of my close friends.

    The only friend that I have been super close to and have moved away is my old best friend Jennifer. We were like, the bestest of friends. I haven't seen her in a few years. But we email sometimes and we never forget each other.

    Love yourself,

  7. *excuse me while i go cry myself to sleep*


sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...