them loving you is like diving into the deep. you loving you is like testing out the water to see if it's alright. and sometimes, someone will push you in without pretense, and you'll be thrashing around unable to grasp something steady, but they will swim to you on their own accord, calm you, hold your head above the surface. i've learned that when you're learning how to love yourself, repetition is key. they have told me everything i've wanted to hear from my own ears over and over and over.
in general, if you tell yourself something enough times you will begin to believe it. and what they do will work the same way. trust me, learning to love yourself is not something you can do alone, because you will always doubt you. having them to help you is like dissolving those doubts in acid, because they will tell you how wonderful you are enough times to where you will be able to look at yourself in the eyes and say "yes, yes, i can see it now." yes, yes, i can see it now, and they won't let me see anything else.
them loving you is loving everything you've got. you loving you is a menagerie of different adjectives to fit the way you want to look in the outfit you've decided to wear. and when they tell you you are beautiful, it will feel like the gangrene of your soul is being removed and replaced with a gold illumination. when you tell you you are beautiful, you are forcing something down your throat that you need water to successfully swallow.
do not tell me that self-love has nothing to do with your physicality, because we have been taught to get in its car and ride along. we depend on our skin for plenty of reasons and it fuels the way we nourish our insides. so we were made by God from the inside-out. but we need to learn to look from the outside-in. that's the way it is in the world, right? through the looking glass. but this is something that we are not to do alone. and God speaks to us through so many people in so many different ways. to the point where we do not have the option but to look at ourselves -- not with disapproval, not with apathy, but -- with peace.
i'm coming out on something today. it's so cold out it might as well be Christmas, and i love myself. i love myself and i don't care about how much i weigh or which side is my 'good' side or the way my thighs look or my stomach or the palms of my hands. if only you knew how fulfilling it is to look up and realize that someone's love for you has no bounds. if only you knew that He is your Redeemer.
-kiss kiss kiss, guess what day it is-