a list of things bloggers do when they feel their following has died.

have a giveaway. what better way to stack up comments than to rally up your favourite etsy stores?

build suspense. (this usually leads to a rebrand and takes a few weeks.) posting is most nearly on hiatus, but with good reason so all you readers don't go away. on the day before rebrand launch, the blog shuts down for "overdue maintenance." and then you're hooked. (also i'd like to say that most people who rebrand like to say they're blogging for themselves now. and i can't believe that anymore.)

rebrand. remember when that was the big thing? figuring out who you were and letting the whole world know that was the way it was going to be from this point on? identifying yourself with colour palettes and pinterest boards and quotes from people who were making the rounds on your tumblr dashboard? we have all, at least once, created for ourselves a big box in which we want our blog to settle. and usually that goes well for a few weeks. but what we realize, after we start overthinking and wishing we could post about that instead of this, is that we are wild things. and we want to jumpstart. not stay. 

write a post as long as the great wall of china explaining why they blog. this means baring the soul. tearing up at the keyboard. telling the truth on some things and making yourself believe others. talking about real life and why it's so hard. (remember when everyone was obsessed with what was real and what wasn't?) apologizing a lot. confessing the contemplation of quitting. saying it's not about the comments or followers. and starting a revolution. huzzah! we are better than this! and such. and that works out for about a year. 

do said monumental thing on a major holiday. {tomorrow i'm doing my forgotten frames post, so put your fingers down.} i've learned that from looking at other people's blogs, unless you're that much of a big deal, people are off the internet and doing something for whatever special day. 

what i'm trying to say is, we're stirring up a group of people that we want to be faithful forever. it's like being at a sleepover at two in the morning. everyone is dozing off but you keep shaking them, making them stay up with you. we keep creating new beginnings for ourselves whenever we feel like it's necessary. and there's nothing wrong with that. but these are such short term things. what we do, we do to feel good now. we're not into the idea of putting in work for results later on. that's no fun. 

the reason i'm saying all this is because i'm tired. i'm dozing off and i think a lot of other people are, too. i'm guilty of everything on this list and i'm tired of lying to myself, saying it's not about the comments or the followers and saying that i'm doing this for me. because that's not true anymore. and to be honest, i don't think it ever was. when i tell you guys something (personal or not), i like getting a response. words. that's my love language. i don't need to physically hear them but i need to receive them in some way. i'm not saying that you're obligated to comment, i'm saying that sometimes, when no one says anything, i start to believe they don't care. maybe that's a codependency issue or maybe that's just how i'm wired. and doing this for me? i love you so much. none of the secrets that are stacked up in september's comment box are for me. you serve as my fuel. and without someone else to lift us up, we all become subject to personal discouragement. 

so yeah - on and off for a few months, i've felt as if no one cares. and nothing can change that. and i can't go on writing just to keep my dashboard consistent and i can't pretend that nothing is wrong, so there you go. that's where it's at. maybe it looked (looks) like i'm quitting. but i'm not going anywhere. i just want you to know that as bad-arse and beastly as i think i am, some of you have had to hit me to keep me awake. no more rebranding or revolutions. i'm just telling the truth.

-kiss kiss kiss, alright it's alright-


  1. amazing honesty. i want every blogger to just finally admit that at least in part they're not doing it for them. because everyone claims it but i seriously doubt it's so commonly true. and being ok with that too. that's awesome. you're awesome.

  2. YOU.
    your honesty and transparency makes me happy.
    jocelyn, there is no one else in this world like you,
    please don't ever change.
    please always speak truth.

  3. I might steal the 'building suspense' idea from you, regardless of whether or not it's sarcasm. I think I'm already doing that, though, because I haven't blogged in forever.
    But this is an amazing post that I think the blogger world has needed since forever. Our idea of blogging needs to be seriously revamped, and your post, I think, is the start of that.

  4. I love that you've never been afraid to take a mad crack at blogging in a way no one else is really willing to. yeah, we're all guilty of those things. yeah, we all love comments. yeah, it can seem pointless to put your words out there when no one really cares about them anyway. my love language isn't words, but it's quality time, so I suppose it ties in somehow with feeling as if people don't or won't or don't care to take the time to respond--especially when it's something I've put my heart into. anyway. I'm glad you're not going anywhere yet.

    1. MY LOVE LANGUAGE IS QUALITY TIME TOO. they're tied! #twins :D

  5. OKAY OKAY OKAY. So this whole post I'm laughing to myself, because obviously I've done all of these, and I've rinsed and repeated them longer than it should have taken to figure this thing out. I was trying so hard to make blogging be just for me. I wanted to stay completely free from the bondage of blogging for numbers, and I really did think that I had. And it wasn't until there was no feedback that I realized that there was absolutely positively no way I was blogging for myself. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN, BLOGGING FOR YOURSELF. Blogging is more than keeping a journal with the hope of someone finding it someday when you're long gone. Blogging is meant to be shared. It's meant to be a community. And I'm over here telling people I'm not doing it for them, I'm doing it for me. NO WONDER EVERYONE LEFT, ABBY.
    But anyway. I'm so glad you wrote this.
    (if I could just go back and tell myself to quit trying to be katniss, this whole thing would've been so much easier.)

  6. truth is always best ... even when it may hurt.

  7. Am I the only one who gasped continually throughout the whole post and then when Miss Jocee finally said she wasn't going anywhere, breathed a sigh of relief? I'm glad you're not going anywhere!

    1. no. you are so not the only one. this post was a breath of fresh air. :) x

  8. Duude, I've done/doing all of these. Seriously. I'm making a new blog tomorrow that is going to be my "main" blog from now on, and I'm trying to convince myself that I'm going to stick with it, that blogging is going to be part of my life for as long as I can type, but I'm sure I'll get bored some point or another, like you pointed out. THE TRUTH IS FINALLY BESTOWED UPON US ALL. Okay, I should stop being all dramatic. Also, the "trends." I don't get that. Why does everyone follow something? It's like the popularity at school, kind of. Or a school of fish. I guess we just don't want to feel left out?


    1. i think it's partly because at the age we are, we ache to belong to something. not completely (well, it depends on who you are and your personality), but somewhat. another reason is it may be aesthetically attractive and we can subconsciously weave it into whatever image we've made for ourselves. and then some of us just really like it and we wish we knew about it sooner or something. it's a strange subject. and it's different for every medium you decide you want to get into. it's partly because we do want to belong. that's natural. but there can be deeper reasons, too. :)

  9. Hi Jocee,

    I realize that you post photos many (basically too many) photos yourself. Do you think you could post some pictures of -- say, -- your friends or family without constantly focusing on yourself? THAT would be a refreshing change.

    I mean this in a really nice way -- I don't mean to offend you; I'm just trying to tell you how I feel about how your blog could use improvement (after all, that is what this post talks about -- making a better blog!).

    I hope you have a fantastic day!

    PS Great post :)

    1. i'd like to clarify here that i understand how some people can see this post in a "bettering your blog" light, but what i think you saw is not quite what i intended to stress. lately, i don't believe blogging has been the same. i mean, we're all growing up and different platforms of social media have been occupying our attention, but for the people who are still very actively posting, their level of feedback has been sort of... lagging. at least, that's what i've been seeing and feeling. so this post is intended to show what bloggers typically do when their space is in crisis. and it's addressing the truth that we do not completely do this for ourselves (sometimes, if at all).

      thanks for being kind in your suggestion; i've thought about it myself. i haven't really picked up my camera at all in comparison to the last several months, and self-portraits really come easy to me as in between fun little shoots with my friends. (i still have to put up helayna's shoot, though.) but i have to say, i don't do self-portraits with the intent of focusing on myself completely and constantly. they most nearly serve as a documentation mechanism for the people i'll meet in the future, and honestly, i really like them! i'm not going to disregard your suggestion, but it's not what i meant to promote. (and when it comes to my family, i should probably talk about them more and maybe post some pictures of my sister, but the rest of them prefer not to really be seen. does that make sense?)

      so yeah, hope you understand. :)
      (and by the way, my forgotten frames post is going to be like... 7/8 self-portraits. so, not to spite you. the post was pre-meditated.)

  10. I'm trying to do my own blogging thing. I feel as if I'm barely getting the normal amount of comments I was before, but if I'm actually me and not a copy of all the other teenage bloggers, people might like me better.

    1. and YOU might like you better, which is important too. one of the things about that is not everyone is going to like what you're doing. that's just natural for everyone in everything. so if they don't find it aesthetically pleasing or their "style," they'll find someone who does what they like. and sometimes (most of the time, really) that's hurtful. but it's also how that can be. BUT for the people who stay and take in every atom of what you are creating, that has so much value. :)

  11. This is SO true, for in my opinion, all bloggers. I just found your blog and I love it!
    Brooke Jordan


  12. Wow this is beautiful! Thank you so so much for your honesty. Needed to hear those words

  13. i laughed aloud several times while reading this, because this is so accurate and slightly ironic.
    but it's so true.
    (p.s. i'm glad you aren't going anywhere. you had me scared for a sec.)

  14. Yes. Yes. Yes. So true. Sad, but true. Thank you for your honesty, darling. {and I'll try to comment more; I always read your posts, but I tend to forget to comment as much as I would like people to comment for me}.

  15. This is the truest thing that has ever been typed up. I believe we have all done something of the sort on this list. It's sad, because I am such a hypocrite when it comes to things like this. I try to tell myself that the amount of followers is satisfactory, and that it doesn't bother me that no one seemed to comment on that one post I thought was genius. I laugh when other bloggers beg people to comment or follow. But really, it does consume me. I try to tell myself that the content of my blog is what really matters, but I'm constantly trying to mock the styles of my favorite blogs, because, if only I could write like THAT! Then I'd have followers pouring in.

    Anyway. Thank you for the wake up call. I think every blogger needs it.


sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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