2.16.2012

it is the nature of stars to cross

i think today i was going to talk about quality versus quantity. but after finishing john green's the fault in our stars, my thoughts have become stars that i cannot fathom into constellations. to most of you, this post probably will not make much sense. however, to those of you who have read TFiOS, this is sort-of your own, personal talking to.

life is fickle. love even more so. everyone wants to be remembered; everyone wants to be loved. in life, it seems like when there's death that the person is finally remembered the way they want to be. in love, it seems like when the lover is gone that the one left alone finally realizes what they had. like that saying by someone i can't quite put my finger on: you never know what you have until it's gone.

{spoiler alert here} when gus died, i slammed the book shut and did an intense google searching spree on various questions like why do people have to die and why does cancer have to exist and why do bad things happen and why do the days get longer and shorter and so on. but then i realized that my answers were written by alot of people with generic answers like "it's God's fault" or "if people didn't die, the world's capacity would have been filled long ago" or something like that. google doesn't know. so why am i asking?

it's not God's fault. actually, it's ours. we sinned, therefore we don't deserve to live. but Jesus came and died so that wouldn't have to be true.

there's an interesting thing about celebrities. when they're down at their lowest point and try to get back up to the top, it fails, and soon after, they cease to exist on the face of the earth. then the world notices them, buys their music, falls in love with someone they'll never have the chance of knowing. with love, we have someone, but by some odd circumstance, whether death or no, we can't be with them anymore. and to be completely honest? it sucks. we suck.

i mean, how can be we so dense? to not pay attention when attention is needed, and when the wrong is done and all is in utter chaos we spin our heads in the right direction? when those who are well known die and we devote all our attention to them, no disrespect intended but what about the millions of others who died that same day? maybe they wanted to be remembered by many. maybe their version of "many" was a small pool of friends and family. can we increase the vision?

in TFiOS, there's a funny way to look at cancer. the human body is fighting it, it wants to live. the cancer is fighting us, because it wants to live too. like the persians and the spartans. it's all relative. but who do you want to win?

i love hazel's way of thinking. i love how gus always called her hazel grace and always built her up. i love how he decide not to deny himself the simple pleasures of existence and look at beautiful people. and i love that he had sense enough to put a cigarette in his mouth but not light it. i love how they gave the simple word "okay" a beautiful and infinite set of meanings.
if you have gotten this far and not sentenced me off to be a lunatic, order in the book at your library so you can truly understand what i speak of {there is some strong language used throughout, but if you can stand that you'll be fine}.

so to end my rattled thoughts, i'm going to write an autobiography of myself now.
-kiss kiss kiss, drinking the stars- 

14 comments :

  1. how come on every post you do i just HAVE to click the "adorable" and "smiley" reactions up there ^?? :P

    you are wayy too awesome joceee :) <3

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  2. i am opening a window and checking my local library for that book right now, because even though i didn't understand half this post, i want to.

    ...it's on hold. i'm nine out of nine in line. can't wait!

    xoxo,
    Jessica @ Diary of a Beautiful Soul

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  3. Don't worry you aren't a lunatic and this is my first time to your blog. But you have made an impression. I'll be checking the book out.
    Bs sure to check out Elva Fields jewelry on my blog and let me know what you think.

    Lisa x

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  4. I've not read the book, but this post totally makes so much sense to me. Weird.
    I like:)

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  5. I havent heard of this book before, i love to read so maybe one day i will read this too

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  6. Hey Jocee! I was just wondering if you would be interested or able to guest post on my blog sometime in the next couple of weeks? Get back to me if you're interested! :)

    Hope (hope-turcotte2010@hotmail.com)

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  7. hehe. maybe I'll have to read this book. maybe.
    Yay for autobiographies!

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  8. True, true, true.
    This sounds like an interesting book. I'll have to check it out sometime!

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  9. I just reread this and cried and can't fathom and...
    I read it desperate for my own Augustus Waters, and then---BAM. So I wonder if it's better to have their crazy love that lasts for infinity and leaves Hazel so sad, than to have never loved at all.
    Anyway.
    Amazing.

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  10. I love that book so much!!! Are you a Nerdfighter??? I'm actually going through my book with white-out and a pen and censoring it. Changing Go* to gosh, and damn to dang and stuff before I lend it to mah friends. I'm glad John Green didn't make the "sex scene" too graphic, but I did feel weird when reading it(Christian and homeschooled is what I am) DFTBA!<3

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  11. I loved this book soooo much!! It made me cry, and laugh, and want to stick the book in a blender..all at once! Ahhhhahhh "Okay" went from being a simple word to four letters of love and forever<3
    Are you a nerdfighter?
    DFTBA!<3

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  12. Oh my gosh! I saw the words SPOILER ALERT but I read ahead! Darn it, I doubt I'll finish the book now! Why did I read ahead? And I was really liking that book!

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sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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