in which i try to explain my feelings and the past few days.

i now know that feeling. that feeling when an orchestra plays your song? yeah. it's a pretty good feeling. you're not sure whether you want to laugh or cry, but goshbubbles you can't stop smiling. there's a little aching knot in the pit of your stomach that tells you, it's your song. that's your song. 

i understand that many composers don't have the privilege of having their composition played by a full orchestra, much less a real-live musician, excluding yourself playing on the piano. but at age fifteen i'm proud to say that i've had that privilege. the first of many. my entire family was crying. my fellow composers {all boys, i might add} all commuted in the lobby and also cried. i signed autographs for the first time. me-oh-my, i do have to work on my handwriting.

and that was all on thursday. friday, i snagged the third volume of kinfolk at anthro, shopped with family and got all dressed up for my homeschool formal dance, which, i have to admit, was amazing. and let's not forget to mention ihop with all of my friends at one-thirty in the morning. a 5k at eight am that morning? oh yes, i did that too. still insanely sore, as well. the family began to leave that day, and only grandma sugar was left.

so, after church yesterday, we ate dinner at her house and it was the first time i actually got the chance to lounge about and relax. the photos above are my excursions in the front yard. now, grandma sugar is at the airport getting ready to fly back home, and it's rather quiet in my house, so i'm indulging in relaxation right now, too.

gosh, you guys. that feeling. i can't shake that feeling.

listening to: secondhand white baby grand - smash {seriously makes me cry.}
quote love: "and so i stared at the words until they didn’t make sense anymore and my eyes filled to the brim with tears and i realized that no matter how much hatred i could store in my heart for him, i’d still love him." -by me

-kiss kiss kiss, we are all fools in love-

{pea ess: "listening to" and "quote love" bit via katie.}
{pea pea ess: unfortunately no video or sound recordings of my piece can be reproduced, because it is strictly prohibited by the orchestra. however, stay tuned! it'll probably be in a movie in fifteen years.}


  1. jocee, i don't think i could explain to you the feeling i get when i read your posts. it's like... y'know? just, gah, so awesome. i'm happy for you, having your composition played, and a homeschool formal sounds fun!


    p.s. that quote... eek! can't wait till friday♥

  2. I am so happy for you! Also, the fact that you have a homeschool formal is awesome. The end.

    Ps, I always feel bad when I haven't commented in a while, so I'm apologizing in advance. I'm going to Rome next Monday, do Im not gonna be able 2 comment for a month from Europe. But I'll still read, so keep it up!!!!!

  3. ditto what Jessica said. your posts are seriously the bomb. i just felt like hugging you the entire time. so... ::HUG::

  4. so, so proud of you girl. (is it possible to be proud of your elder?) keep up your amazingness.

    abbie /// xoxox

  5. that is so neat!! happy for you! ^_^ busy days are awesome.

  6. You signed autographs??? I want your autograph!!!!!!

    So proud of you, deary! P.S---pretty pictures:)

  7. Oh my goodness!! SOO awesome!! =)

  8. this is the most awesome-est post I have ever read in my entire life. YOU ARE AWESOME. I could never ever ever ever compose music. lovely, lovely pictures too.

  9. wow. it must have been simply amazing. Your family must be so proud of you. :) and the quote at the end? perfect. besides, a baby grand? oh awesomeness.


  10. That is so wonderful.
    I'm so happy for you. When the make my book (which has yet to be written) into a movie, you can write the film score.
    Beth xx

  11. Wow that's amazing!!!!! You sign autographs? Wish I had one! Maybe you should post your orchestra song on your blog for the people that missed the performance of you on the piano. Holy fishes! That would be amazing!

    P.S. I now understand that feeling... expert I wasn't music related..... instead I got Baptized!!!! (and maybe made a fool out of myself by saying in my testimony "I don't want to be a small fry *that means a little fish* anymore".....=^..^=

    =^..^= Hunteress =^..^=

  12. you are so cool. I wish I could compose music! Seriously. thats so awesome that an orchestra actually preformed your piece!! Maybe the orchestra I direct someday will preform all of your famous pieces. :)

  13. I'm really really interested in composing! Especially for films. SO THIS IS SO INSPIRING! I love you and your blog, Jocee :) Extremely proud of you!

    much love,

    Chloe Grace

  14. wow. just wow. you are so inspiring. this post made my day :) and that quote? well, i do believe i just died ;)

  15. Jocee love, this is so terribly excited. Geez, I'm excited for you. Can we hear it? Was it recorded? I want to hear itttt. (: (:

  16. It's terribly exciting. That's what I meant. ;)

  17. Congrats Jocee! That is so amazing!

  18. That's so exciting!!! I'm seeing that movie when it comes out, mkay? ;)

    eve @ essence of eve

  19. oh darling, you make me happy, and I really don't know why... okay, weird. anywho, I'm so happy for you! I have to hear said music. Really, I do. as for the rest of the post- it's great. you are awesome. that is all. <3


sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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