10.11.2012

teneleventwelve and i have an idea.

this has been on my heart for awhile.
8/30: a bad habit
photo by kinga.
we're influenced by what we see more than we think we are. if you see someone wearing 3D glasses and it looks cool, then you might start wearing 3D glasses. and someone's listening to a popular new album or artist, then you might start listening to the same music as they are. if you look on the cover of a magazine and see a girl, not much older than you, with enlarged breasts and prominent cheekbones and full, red lips, then you'll get it in our head that that's how you're supposed to look, so you'll do everything to can to make sure you look like that.

no, sweetheart. no. don't do that. society thinks that nowadays, you have to be blonde-haired and blue-eyed, under 120 pounds, barely dressed to be beautiful. they think that anything over size 6 is plus-sized, anyone single is a loser, and that eating disorders are worth it because then you'll have that body you've always wanted.

if these things are true, then i, 5'10" and 200 pounds (of muscle), am morbidly obese. but this isn't true. i mean, yeah, i look in the mirror almost everyday with a look of disgust on my face because my stomach isn't flat, my thighs have touched for as long as i can remember, and my hands are too big and so on. but that's the thing. we turn to the mirror and trust them to show us that girl from seventeen magazine, but we always end up looking at ourselves.

but what's so bad about that? what makes us ineligible of beauty? nothing! that's exactly it. and we shouldn't let these "fashion" magazines or overly-dramatic teen sitcoms dictate to us who we are. there's an article in this month's issue of austin woman magazine by robyn silverman, that says "only 5 percent of girls naturally possess the coveted ail-thin body type so often depicted in fashion spreads and advertisements." so should we berate ourselves, the 95 percent, for the body that is unique and custom-fit for all of us?

robyn said only 5 percent of girls naturally possess that thin body type. naturally. the girls use see on those magazines that fill shelves all across the world? you can't possibly think that the photos they're in aren't edited. go ahead. look online. if you look at the before and after photos for fashion magazines, the difference is mind-blowing. when i first saw them, i said to myself, "she looks like me. she looks like me. the girl in forever21 looks different from the girl i see right here, right now. she has freckles and moles on her face. her hair isn't perfectly coloured and waist isn't as small as it appears to be in the retail store. there's finally something between us that is similar!"

so the purpose of this post? i dare you. you know those fashion magazines you see in the aisles of wal-mart? the ones that mock you and laugh at you because you can never live up to your standards? i dare them to post an issue where none of the models are retouched. none of their body parts are edited, and if anything is edited, it's to boost the overall quality of the photo. not the person in it. so spread the word. facebook, twitter, tumblr, any media that might catch someone's eye. i want them to know that i exist. i'm not perfect, i'm not even close. but i don't edit myself so i can give the illusion that i am perfect. 

i don't know what's going to become of this, but i only have high hopes. and for the record, you're beautiful. maybe the next time you look at yourself in the mirror, you'll look at your inside and not your outside. and maybe, just maybe, you'll like what you see. 

-kiss kiss kiss, stand a little taller-

53 comments :

  1. This is an awesome post! Well done! *applause*

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  2. Jocee, This is beautiful and something that has been on my heart lately. My heart breaks for every single girl who struggles with an eating disorder or low body image. I'm so frustrated with the media and how they portray "perfect" girls. It's all Photoshop and starving girls :( I'm happy with my body, but I know so many girls who aren't happy with theirs. I could go on and on but thank you for writing this. It needed to be said!

    xoxo,
    Madeline

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  3. bravo, my dear - this is amazing. it's something i constantly think about, but just can't put into word the way you did here. i do believe you deserve a cupcake. xo

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  4. yes, yes, amen and bravo! And for the record, I think you're gorgeous. I used to hate everything about my body and who I was, I would look in the mirror and cry often, not that I ever told anyone, I would smile and act like I didn't care, but on the inside I was hurting and wondering why I had to look like that. But in the years I've been a part of the blogging world and reading my bible more than I used to and I've come to the place where I just want to say THIS is who I am. I am NOT an accident, I am beautiful because God crafted me.

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    Replies
    1. thank you Johanna for saying what I think EVERY girl fills during a certain age.

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    2. THANK YOU Johanna for saying what I think EVERY girl fills at a certain age!!!

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  5. Respect to this post.
    It can be pretty dangerous too when people take these magazines a tad too seriously and I wish everyone who is in that zone read your post right now and feel beautiful :)

    +Not Just My Allegories+

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  6. You done made me cry. You're so brave and smart and speaking such truth and I just love you. Your painting should be there any day.
    <3

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  7. this is beautiful, thank you for sharing! something had even though about lately, too! sharing this for sure!<3

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  8. Well said Johanna ^.

    And thank-you Jocee for writing this post, and for taking a stand against the world's standard of body image. Your words were meaningful and full of power, as well as deeply encouraging. Take care m'dear! :)

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  9. Jocee. JOCEE. This is so beautiful. We all look in the mirror and hate what we see at times--but God created us, and He loves us just the way we are--no matter what others say, no matter what popular is. Thank you, Jocee. <3 And you are beautiful, girl. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't.

    xo,
    mikailah @ www.maid4him.blogspot.com

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  10. This is a brave and lovely and just chock-full-of integrity post. Thanks, Jocee. Thanks muchly.

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  11. well aren't you just the loveliest person ever? so inspiring.. you, and this post. keep doing your thing, girl. xo.

    http://www.laurenbrumfield.com/

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  12. AMEN! girl, i love you. this is so encouraging; thank you for this post and for taking a stand. <3

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  13. YES. YES. YES. that is all i can say.

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  14. This was beautiful. I think we really need to hear that because the media, namely 17 magazine, tries to turn girls into appearance obsessed zombies. I wonder why. :(

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  15. Joceejoceejocee agh I cannot say it enough how wonderful this post is! Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and for the record, I sure think you're pretty just the way you are :)

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  16. Wow Jocee... this was amazing. And so true. Thank you so much for posting this.

    Hannah

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  17. BEAUTIFUL. SO brave of you to post this. BRAVO.

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  18. Lovely, perfect, amazing post. Really. I love this <3
    xo Heather
    http://ahopelessnotebook.blogspot.com/

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  19. Jocee...this, this? is just wonderful. Thank you. I think it's crazy how the world has distorted beauty and that we think that the world's standard of beauty is right. It's not! God made us just the way we are, and we are beautiful in his eyes. You're right. The inside matters so much more than the outside.

    Blessings!

    ~Madi

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  20. Jocee, this is beautiful. Seriously. And you're beautiful. SERIOUSLY.

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  21. Thank you for posting this! I have just recently started to really accept my body, which is anything but skinny. I had thoughts like "No guy will want to go out with me if I don't look like all those thinner girls." but then it hit me that if a guy only cared about me if I was a certain size then he wouldn't really love me. Love is so much deeper than a number on the scale. I know that God loves me--He thinks I'm beautiful, and that's pretty incredible. :)

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    1. Hey, I am one of those skinnier girls, and I have wished and wanted so bad to be heavier and curvier. So don't think for one minute that you are ugly, no matter what size you wear! Rock it, and rock God's love! You GO girl!

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  22. This is just what I needed to hear! SO TRUE.
    Thanks for writing this Jocee :)

    -Leanna

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  23. This is so great. Every girl needs to hear this.

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  24. This is wonderful Jocee, and it's funny because for a while now it's been something that's been pressing on my heart- it's great to know other people think the same :) I hope it does get somewhere! :)
    Kimmy x

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  25. Thank you so much for posting this! I needed to hear it. I regularly struggle with thinking I'm not pretty enough because I have acne and don't have a flat stomach.

    I am going to post a link to this on twitter and I am going to try to figure out a blog post to put it in.

    Thanks again!

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  26. I've been reading your blog for a while now, and this is one of my favorite posts you've ever done. No, that I've ever read, on any blog anywhere. Thank you so much.
    I love you more for this. <3

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  27. I'm one of those that fits into the 5%. So no, I don't have to worry about my weight, but that doesn't mean I don't stress about other things about me... So thank you. I really really needed to hear this :)

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  28. Amen, so true. I am one of those naturally skinny people, but you know what? I still have things I wish were different. I am always fighting not to compare myself to others. I am perfectly made in the image of God. how in the world can someone be ugly when they are made in the image of the most beautiful thing ever??? I think you are beautiful and you have an amazing heart girl!
    Em;)

    P.S. have to see this video by Dove. it shows the before and after. it is really stunning.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hibyAJOSW8U&feature=related

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    1. Em,
      Thanks SO much for posting that link!! Some might (rightfully) call it sad that people make unattainable standards of beauty . But this encouraged me because I realized that behind many of the so-called perfect photos I see really are fake and the models are actually like normal girls. I am naturally skinny too. Actually I've bee told that I have a pretty good body. But there are still things I don't like about myself, especially about my face. IBUT I am made in gods image!!! And how can that ever be ugly??? Thank you... You probably didn't intend those words for me specifically but you will never know how much they impacted me.

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  29. wow. yes. for me it's always been the opposite, kind of - I guess I'm one of that 5 percent, and I've always hated it and wanted to be curvier and not so freaking stick-thin. It was so annoying when people would make what they thought were harmless jokes - "Why are you so skinny?" "Oh my gosh you're so skinny!" "Haha I can fit my one hand around your thigh, you're so skinny." I would hate the fact that I was a size zero and wish so hard that I could be a size six or seven or eight. Whenever I'd gain a pound or two I was always so, so happy. And when I finally reach 100 pounds last year, I was really crazily happy. But then I got ill with a stomach bug and lost about seven or eight pounds, and became really unsatisfied with my too-low weight again. And now I'm 106-ish and I guess that's a healthy weight for me, as I'm not a stick anymore, but I still compare myself to curvier girls and sometimes wish I wasn't so skinny, though for the most part I find myself more happy with myself right now.
    So yeah, that was super long. But thank you so much for writing this post.

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    1. KINGA. I so so get you.. That's been me also.. MY WHOLE LIFE. I rejoiced when I gained a pound, I HATED those "skinny girl jokes". But, I'm trying to be okay with it now.. I know you don't consider yourself a Christian anymore.. But I believe that God has made us all the way we are for a REASON. I love this so much because it makes me think.
      And Kinga, your comment really really struck me-- you have no idea how much were alike. Even down to the stomach bug, lol.

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    2. I am so glad I'm not the only one; I always felt like I was. :)

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    3. We should talk more; Were so much alike.

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    4. Yes! You should email me :)

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  30. P.s. the day you posted this (and today), I was feeling kinda down on myself. This was good for me. Thank you jocee.

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  31. Jocee, This was so amazing. So much. We need to spread the word. We need to share this message. I get to work in a ministry with young girls. Some of the older ones, around the ages 10-13, literally make me want to cry. At such a young age they are already taught that they need to look 'sexy' in order to be cool or get attention and of course to get boys to like them. This is short ( and I mean short) shorts, low cut tops... It gets even worse and is so sad. This is not their fault. Certainally in some ways they are responsible for their attitude and they way they dress. But society has taught them this, has taught them that they are no more then a body. That is so sad but it is the truth.

    We need people just like you to Stand up and tell the truth. Show, don't just tell, other hurting girls and women that they have amazing worth and beauty in gods eyes. They are so much more than a body and a face. Please, anyone reading this, stop and pray for girls and women like this. Thank you so much for posting this, Jocee. God has used this greatly and something tells me that he will use you in a big way for his purposes. God bless.

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  32. Words cannot suffice to how much I love this post.
    Amazing, relevant and beautifully written are understatements.

    This is brilliant, Jocee.

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  33. Thank you, Jocee!! this was aMAZING!!

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  34. This is SUCH an amazing post, Jocee! I can't really say anything more besides...You go GIRL! :)

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  35. Thank you so much for posting this...exactly what I've been needing at the moment!
    Gosh, I'll like you forever I suppose :)

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  36. Wonderful. Just plain wonderful.

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  37. ohmygosh. everything you said? SO FREAKING TRUE. you go girl! every woman on the face of this earth needs to hear this.

    i'm kristyn, and i'm PROUD of my size 9/10, 138 lbs, 5"7 body. :]

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  38. Amen to that sister! Absolutely love the way you confront the lies that society beseeches every single girl with! :-)

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sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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