“all children, except one, grow up.”

quote from j.m. barrie's peter pan.

i can feel it now, unlike before. you know, the "Christmas spirit." i have this feeling in the pit of my stomach and it's telling me, "it's almost Christmas it's almost Christmas it's almost Christmas." i don't know when it came. i surely didn't feel it at the beginning of the month when the world was 'free' to listen to Christmas music. but now that it's here, it's as though it never left.

maybe it came when we made the 3 hour drive to grandma and grandaddy's. maybe it came when i hugged uncle q and aunt mary for the first time. maybe it came when i saw the present under the tree, or when joy and grandaddy added some more decorations to it. or when mommy, daddy and i did some last minute shopping. it doesn't really matter. the point is, now that the feeling is here, i feel like a little kid again. like the quote, all children but one grow up. and i am that one. and i didn't think i'd feel this way because i hardly wanted to decorate the tree at my house this year. and because of some... developments that have happened in the past few weeks, i thought this Christmas would be different. but you know what? i'm okay. i'm fine. i'm great. i'm fantastic. i'm freaking grool! (#ehehe) and tomorrow is Jesus' birthday. so why should my petty issues get me down? i'm celebrating Him and the fact that God gave Him to me, that i might be cleansed of all the crap i've... uhm... crapped up.

the photos above are snippits of my december. small portraits that have gotten me where i am now: the grandparents' house, sitting next to aunt mary and joy and watching home alone. i am so thankful for the people that constantly inhabit my life and the people that pass me by, because maybe they'll become the most special thing in the world to me sometime in the future. so on that note, happy Christmas (eve).
-kiss kiss kiss, omg santa i know him-