2.27.2013

the venn diagram.


original photo // typog by me.
"oh, hey!" i say, as we sit down on patio with our coffee and scones.
"what?" he asks, folding his hands and looking at me.
"i know what i'm getting you for your birthday."
"already?" an eyebrow arches.
i shrug, trying to stay calm. "i think ahead." 
he smirks. "so what're you getting me?"
"ah, now that's a surprise. but i'll make sure you hate it."
"um, i think you made a verbal typo."
"what?" i look at him after taking a sip of my grande chai tea latte (hold the water). 
"'i'll make sure you hate it?'"
"oh! no, that wasn't a typo." i take another sip, completely calm this time.
"oh my--really, jocelyn," he says, tapping the table. we go back and forth, him guessing and me vetoing. finally, he asks: 
"is it one of those beanie things 'hipsters' wear on their heads? because i hate beanies."
and it just so happens that i'm wearing a beanie.
when he realises what he's saying:
"oh! well, for what it's worth, you look adorable in beanies. and just about anything, really." another sip of his tall white chocolate mocha.
i flash a grin, letting air seep through my teeth. 
"look!" he says, putting his mocha down. 
he draws a circle in the table, the layer of dust making itself known.
"this circle," he says, "is people who wear beanies."
then he draws a circle within that circle. "this circle is for girls who wear beanies."
then he draws a completely different circle.
"this circle," he says, "is girls who look good in beanies."
then he draws a circle within that circle, slowly writing in the dust what i can make out to be my name.
"i'm not sure if i should be flattered or if i should call you out." but i can't help the smile that draws out my mouth.
"i think you should accept it, because it's true." he says, sipping his mocha again.
we talk about other things, his plans for the summer, what he's going to do with his life, the degree he wants to get in history later on.
as he speaks, i notice the world around me. the sun that's beginning its descent. the air that hints a late-night chill. my latte, steaming through the spout. and i notice him, too. left leg resting on top of the other, mismatch converse that look even more neon in the light. the way he drinks his coffee: small sip, set back on the table, spout wiped off with his thumb and forefinger every time, as if methodically.
at one moment, i counter my sip of chai with his scone instead of mine.
at another, i impulsively grab his coffee cup, holding it at the reading for tasting.
"wait!" he interrupts himself, grabbing my coffee cup. "if we're going to do this, we do it together."
i smile, hoping to God there isn't anything in my teeth. "on three."
"one..." says, smirk breaking into a full smile.
"two..." i counter.
"three!" we say it together, we drink together.
"wow, okay," i nod. "that is a really good mocha."
"good enough to give up your chai?"
"never." we swap drinks and drink again, and i notice his eyes are watery, dilated though the sun shines in them.
soon after, we leave the patio and starbucks, but the venn diagram stays etched into the table. back at school, we wander through halls trying to find my english class, talk over possible photoshoot dates, all the while him holding my computer bag and opening all doors.
finally, i arrive at my classroom door five minutes before the period starts. i don't remember the last things we said or even the last conversation we had.
but i do remember watching him leave, jogging methodically (like the way he sips his coffee) down the stairs with a possible smirk on his face, getting me excited for next week.
so i walk in class, greeted by my professor, and all during the class i am made into a giddy schoolgirl, awaiting the next time i get to see that smirk again.

that was the day, three weeks ago, when we went for coffee. i survived (and passed) my first history exam of the semester, and we'd already decided to go for coffee at some point, and what better time than this? it was one of those days that i will repeat in my head until the words we said go to mush in meaning, but i will always remember the venn diagram. incidentally, i always wear that beanie now.
-kiss kiss kiss, a heart full of-

42 comments :

  1. Let's go to coffee, yes? And tell stories and have Java Chip Frapp's please.

    ..OF LOOOOOVE! (you know what this relates to)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey so this is beautiful. But I would like to have a few things clarified. I thought this guy had another girl he was interested in? Secondly, your writing is lovely but what I
    He was to read it? It's easy enough to find your blog Facebook page (my friend showed it to me) what if he reads all this? What if he's creeped out?
    Thanks for your time!:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1) i just wanna say this is the first actual anon comment i've gotten in a long time that's NOT spam and i'm glad of that.
      2) he does like someone else. however he and i are like, best friends. so basically: i like him (in that way), he likes me (not in that way), she likes him (and it's mutual).
      3) what if he read it? uh. i don't know. there isn't a very good chance that would happen. he hardly gets on facebook, much less his laptop. but if it did happen, i would probably be teased about it or something. he doesn't mind me liking him or anything so it would be okay. i'd blush a lot, though. :P

      Delete
    2. Just be careful Jocee, Those feelings are private, and though it could make a good story, you should carefully consider before putting it on your blog. what if he saw it or she saw it? That could hurt some people. So just be careful, nothing is hidden on the internet.
      but it is cute. ;)

      Delete
    3. thanks for the reminder, lil ;)

      Delete
    4. Gawh, this is adorbs babe. If you ever decide to not post here about him (for stated reasons) maybe you could move them to Tumblr so we can still read? (:

      Delete
  3. This is really sweet :). It made me smile a lot!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is too cute. Tooooo cute!

    xx,
    Carolyn

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think this is beautiful. Also, I don't think you should have to worry about anybody reading it. Your thoughts are yours to share, and this doesn't sound like anything that would hurt somebody (or creep anybody out). I think he'd be flattered if he read it. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is really sweet, m'dear! I know the feeling- I started dual enrollment at a community college this year and it is lots of fun! Though no one has given me much attention (grinsatyoyluckydogyou)...

    I think it's great you are honest about your feelings and leave it all out there on the table. What I SUPER love about your style is that it is so easy to see how in love you are with your memories and moments... and how honest you are online about them. It says so much about who you are as a lady. Plus, it's hard sharing those conversations that get themselves wrapped in your heart... it's wonderful that you talk about them and get it out there in the open.

    Cause you are the best!
    -Gabby

    ReplyDelete
  7. this is so so cute, echoing what some above commentrs said about being careful what you post. I'm learning that in my own life and my journal is filling so so fast because I'm holding back a little in the online world.
    that being said I still think this is absolutely adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  8. this really made me squeal. :) a.d.o.r.e this, Jocee. ;) ::hugs::

    ReplyDelete
  9. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
    You're killing me with the feels.
    That whole conversation was beast, and this whole post is fantastic. I love the way you notice things about people - you notice the little things that make up the big things, which, if I'm being honest here, most people say they do, but not everyone that says they do actually do. I'm not just talking about the ways of people that anyone with eyes can see, but you take in their whole being, you put what it is about them into words perfectly, and you're able to say how you feel about each aspect of them. It's a terribly complicated and hard thing to do, and I applaud you for it.
    Also, it breaks my heart a little that he likes someone else. But God has someone for you, maybe it's him, maybe it's not, but whoever it is is the guy that can't be any more perfect for you. <3

    ReplyDelete
  10. omg jocee. this is perfect. absolutely perfect. more posts like this soon i hope? :)
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  11. this is so freakin' cute and perfect. he sounds amazing.
    and honestly, these are my favorite type of posts because I can see more of your heart in it. it's personal and beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Awww that is so sweet. I felt like i was a reading a book :)
    All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  13. awwh that is soo sweet!
    http://peacefulcontemplation.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  14. Aw, this is precious, and you're precious and I like how you're totally open and transparent with people. It's refreshing darling. <3

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is so incredibly cute sweetie! I wish I was as brave as you
    Kimmy x

    ReplyDelete
  16. gosh. this is just adorable. and blush-worthy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. and this is when i realize that fairy tales do actually happen in real life. this is too sweet for words! and i adore your writing. so this post is just incredible.

    ReplyDelete
  18. can I just jump inside your life and BE you... this is too perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow. You're so good at painting a scene. It feels more like a scene out of a novel than an actual moment. Tell me y'all are an item. Because from this post, it's obvious that you both want to be.

    ~ Erin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dude, i wish. kind of. i don't know. i like him, but i love being his friend and i don't want to compromise that, you know? also read the second comment. :)

      Delete
  20. um this is the most perfect thing in my liffffffffffe.

    i was reading this during class at like 12:35 (in the a.m.) and my teacher was like "um hayley." and i was like "hey yo teach" and he was like "what. just put your screen down" and before i had a chance to comment on this i was forced to shut my computer screen.

    anyways long story short, i loved this.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hey Jocee,
    I just found this board on pinterest and it made me think of you. :) http://pinterest.com/amevane/cupcakes/
    Becca Anne

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh my goodnessss!!
    So wait!! Do you know if he returns your affections? Or is this a secret crush?

    <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1) he doesn't return the affections, not really. he's just really really nice. (read the second comment.)
      2) it's not a secret crush because he knows i like him, but he's okay with it. :)

      Delete
  23. oh my. this is cute. i really felt like i was there. you're lucky that you get to see your someone all the time. :)

    -Carli

    ReplyDelete
  24. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
    finally!
    when i saw this post on my dashboard i was like oh this better be a mushy post ;)
    i was not disapointed. love love looove it!
    ya'll are too cute.
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  25. love your words. this is great and the fact that it's real life makes it all better. :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Love it!!! Reading this was like breathing in a beautiful sunset or soaking up the sounds all around. Lovely!:)
    ~Teressa

    ReplyDelete
  27. jocee.

    do you ever get those days when you're on twitter or facebook and you're suddenly conscious of the fact that lots of your friends are beautiful. and i mean gawjus. and their photos are liked, commented on or retweeted. and you're just you. the one who's a closet extrovert (too shy to be funny) and you wonder if you're even half as gorgeous as these girls. their hair is longer they have pretties smiles and dimples. and they know how to flirt effortlessly. i am full of insecurities and i don't know what to do.

    can you post on this sometime please? you always make me feel better about stuff like this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Btw, Jocee is incredibly incredible. She is one of the most beautiful people that I know (I wish I knew her a lot better) and she is so original, talented, and makes the best mixtapes and homemade cupcakes ever. She has beautiful hair, a beautiful smile and a beautiful heart. So whether or not this was meant to put her down, everything above is a fact.

      Delete
    2. anon: i think that's a GREAT idea. i've been thinking about the subject a lot lately, honestly, but i haven't been able (surprisingly) to put it into words. i will post on it soon, though! don't worry, dearheart. also, i don't know you (probably) and i haven't seen you, but i know you are so incredibly beautiful with an amazing purpose and i can't wait to see you shine.

      ryan: i don't think it was meant to put me down, not at all. i think they were speaking of girls in general, yeah? :) also thank you soooo much for your words. they mean so much to me right now. not even kidding. #ihaveallthesefeels

      Delete
    3. no i wasnt trying to put anyone down, i was talking about how i personally struggle with insecurity and looking to advice from jocee to help me. :)

      sorry if it came across as something different. yes, jocee is beautiful. i always knew that ryan.

      Delete
    4. y'all are both extremely sweet and anon: i am writing that post! really excited to address the subject. :)

      Delete
    5. Jocee, I'm a different anon from the one above, but p,ease
      Ost on this subject!! I too am full of insecurities. I hate being the one ugly friend :(

      Delete
  28. this is the nost perfect thing and i wish i was you right now and i wish that i could talk to guys and yeah. you are the one person that always makes my day with your writing.

    ReplyDelete

sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...