fiction fridays, part twelve.

original photo
the trouble with rings is that you have to wear them, and if you don't everyone will think it doesn't fit.
friendly reminder that you are 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 and 1 all at once. and every year of your life, you will find and adopt something you cannot bear to lose. the next year, you will forget. 
     your soul finds someone and says “oh. there you are. i’ve been looking for you," but had you not found them, would you have known?
     when you are 13, you will buy a ring that is exactly what you’ve been envisioning for your wedding. when you are 14, you will sneak it onto your left hand. when you are 15, the ring will be too small. but in october, you will find a boy to wrap around your fourth finger.
     and then, you will forget. 
     two months before your 16th birthday you’ll pull the bins down from their shelves and your soul will turn 5. your stomach will murmur “oh, there you are. i’ve been looking for you," in the form of butterflies. your mind will yearn for the time things weren’t so complicated. when all was pure and an unchristened ship pulled against the dock. 
     after dinner, you will be in a bad mood. you will cleanse your room in a frenzy and throw the bin onto its shelf.
     and then, you will forget.
     five months after your 16th birthday, the doctor will tell you you need to lose weight. you’ll go home, suddenly unable to eat, and find sanctuary in your room. you won’t remember finding the ring, but you’ll always remember how it didn’t fit. 
     two weeks before you go to camp, your mother will have the urge to deep clean everything in sight. but the time you realize the bin is gone, it’ll be on display in goodwill. and you won’t remember finding the ring, but you will always remember your mother asking you if you wanted it. 
     your mind will conjure up a scene where, in the future, you are at a flea market. everything is strewn about in a massive heap, except, suprisingly, the jewelry. two mannequin’s hands, and on the left fourth finger your heart murmurs “oh. there you are. i’ve been looking for you."
     and you will wonder, in the event that you do not find it again, if you’d ever known.

i wrote this for my tumblr. i actually like it, so i couldn't just leave it there.
-kiss kiss kiss, car crash dear-


  1. I can't even tell you.. you are wonderful.

  2. ah, this is beautiful, Jocee. just, WOW. man, your writing blows me away. because it's so real. it's life, and people can relate with it. :)
    this is beautiful; rather sad, nostalgic, but still beautiful in a melancholy sort of way. :)

    you're awesome, okay.


  3. wowza this makes me sad sad sad

  4. waaah so good. one of my favorites of your fiction, for sure.

  5. I love this and your blog. Beautiful writing.


  6. Wow. This is really beautiful, and sad, and poignant.

  7. Jocee, that's truly amazing. You write so well. I love those words up there ^ so much.

  8. i can't find words to say this really...but you are amazing, you.



sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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