10.01.2013

the forgotten frames || september.

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i. last week, i looked for the moon every night, and even when i didn't find it, i wished you both sweet dreams.
ii and iii. i asked my sister to shoot me (photographically), and this is what came out of it.
iv, v, vi and vii. i think outsiders know us as the state of brown grass and tumbleweeds,
and maybe they're right. but here, right now, flowers always grow.

i keep contemplating making this post an apology because for some reason, i feel like i've failed you all. if i don't talk about i keep thinking maybe i should talk about how sunday didn't feel like sunday at all and that my mind started cycling; that one like from perks kept making the rounds in my head like a doctor that doesn't heal. "dear friend, i haven't seen my friends in two weeks. i am starting to get bad again." and what's worse is i have a typewriter. but that is behind me because my status has been restored. if not that, i could talk about how i saw brian on sunday, at a restaurant for a friend's birthday celebration. there were no butterflies, and not even many words. and i am okay with that. 

maybe i should talk about how i imagined her asking "how many nights did i miss telling you i love you?" maybe i should talk about how i was almost immediately reply "eight," and look away, embarrassed because i couldn't help but count. but i don't think i'm going to talk about how i imagined her kissing me on the forehead and murmuring "i love you to the eighth power." because i think she needs that more than i.

september wasn't hell. in fact, it was alright. maybe it was more than alright, but then, maybe it's okay to leave it all behind.
-and these wounds will heal, promise-

6 comments :

  1. it's always melancholy when you don't feel the butterflies anymore, sorry about that. but the pictures of you - drop dead gorgeous. xx.

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  2. um. WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE SO DANG GORGEOUS?! like not fair. also, i am stealing your shirt.
    but, your words made me cry. i don't know- i'm speechless, but i think i can say that deep down, they resonated with a place in me that i thought had died. #nowimgonnacryagain

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  3. these wounds will definitely heal sweetie xx

    dreaming is believing

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  4. this entire post is gorgeous. the pictures, the writing, and you:)

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sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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