dear society

This post was originally intended for a blog series, but I thought I'd just get this one out and in the open, since I had a "dear society" experience a few days ago, even though it seems really cliche and petty.
One of my best friends that I *never* get to see was in town this week, and I got to spend the day with her on Monday. We went to Forever 21, and started browsing {I had no money, thanks to Ryan who didn't buy me a SINGLE scoop of ice cream at camp} while Joy was begging my mom for California Pizza Kitchen, which was about next door.
Jincy went in her direction and I went in mine; she was looking for clothes, I was looking for costume rings. I wanted to look at some clothing items while there for my trip to California. But what I was looking for was strictly vintage, and they didn't have anything along those--
Jincy disappeared somewhere in the immense store and Joy and I went to go find her. My mom was talking to two parents from my former swim team and didn't really contribute to the help, so I looked around a corner and there she was, standing in what was vintage heaven. The new line that had *just* come out was called "Vintage Romance" and I wanted everything they had to offer. Everything. From a headband to shoes {but shoes were out of the question since they only went up to 10 and I was 11}, I wanted it all.
Jincy and I picked out two dresses to try on and I picked out two shirts as well, and we went to the dressing rooms.
The first dressed on me was too seethrough, and I didn't have any tank tops that would go with it well. Then second top was a size too small, so I went back to get a different size. I tried both dresses but the mediums weren't working, so I went back to get a large or X-large while Jincy sported this *adorable* lace dress that I helped pick out.
The second time in the dressing room proved well only once. The white shirt that I'd gotten in a bigger size fit perfectly, and I wanted to buy it once I was in California. But the dresses...well...that's a different story. I tried one on and it barely got over my shoulders, and even though it was a bigger size, it fit like an *extremely* tight shirt. Then it clicked.
I'm too big. The dresses at Forever 21 are meant for girls who are maybe 130-something pounds at the most, and I've exceeded that limit by alot. So, yeah, the majority of my weight is muscle because I've been swimming for 8yrs. But still. It kinda hurts a little bit to find out you don't have much hope of wearing anything but jewelry and loose fitting tops. Maybe a skirt. On a very rare occasion.
dear society: we blame you. 
We blame you for the picture you've painted on every tv show, every magazine, every card, every form of media that exists today that every girl must be an emaciated blonde with botox sticking out in every place possible. We blame you for the ill-fitting clothes that only the skinniest girls can pull off. We blame you for the bulky makeup and the high heels taller than the average flat screen. We blame you for the many disorders that exist today, such as anorexia and bulimia and cutting, etc. Why? Because the girl's {mostly teenage girls} who are alive today hear those four words that can drive them into doing some of those disorders everytime they look at a magazine or watch tv. Those words? "You're not good enough." You're not good enough. I don't know why girls get it into their heads that they have to be just like every Victoria's Secret model they see at the mall, but it's got to stop. Yes, there are popular blonde girls at every high school who get the quarterback and the title of homecoming and prom queen. But maybe that's just the outside. On the inside maybe she's feeling all the same hurt that a million other girls are feeling, just because they looked at the Teen Vogue magazine you've shoved into their face. Everything isn't what it seems. And the typical teenage society? It's turning into one big fake. When the word "modest" arises, you push it away, because that's not acceptable in your league. But for me? I'm throwing all of the skin tight dresses, jeans, and tops away because I don't need that in my life. 
I am me. I am an original, not a copy. I don't care what you say, but I'm not going to be pulled into your world of perfection. Because perfection isn't the key. We're beautiful no matter what you say about our bodies, or our hair or faces. Because we were made in God's image. We weren't made to be the latest Barbie doll. We were created in Him. Not in you. 
I had to have a good ole rant. I apologize if this has offended anyone in anyway, I did not intend to in the least. Well, I'm going to eat dinner. Bye-bye all you lovely BE-YOU-TI-FUL people! :))


  1. PREACH. IT.

    I'm a busty size 12 at 5'0, so I'm on the curvy side. Going to Hollister is just not an option for me, as is for most adorable clothing size...thanks to my larger chest and hips.

    Society, please start catering to people who aren't toothpicks! Beauty is health, not stick figures.

  2. Awww I love this post! I'm 135-140lb, but I have a tiny waist... It's my figure and I can't barely shop anywhere without buying L or XL clothes... I don't think I should have to... But they make everything ridiculously small!! Thank you for posting this!

  3. Thanks so much for that, Jocee. I agree with you 100% :)
    BTW, you are a really good writer.

  4. Lovely post. It made me feel better =)
    Thank you.

  5. Loved this post and absolutely %100 agree with it, Jocee. I used to get discouraged when I can't find a dress or swimsuit (at least modest) that fits, and I sometimes still do. But I know that it is more important what's on the INSIDE - what God sees ♥.

  6. Hello!
    I would love to read this post, but I can't because it is long and it would drive my eyes crazy!
    The light grey colour on the white is AWFUL! Can you actually read it?? I seriously can't really read it, no offence.
    It would be nice if you could change it or something.
    Eve xox

  7. LOVED this post!! So incredibly right! Society drives me crazy, so I've decided that I'm going to carry on wearing my slightly-too-bright purple jeans and bright blue tops. Because It's who I am! :D xx

  8. So, I'm not super busty or anything, but I know what you mean! It's so hard to find jeans that fit right because I have wide hips but not the biggest butt or anything. It's annoying! I loooove forever 21! But it's meant for size 2 people. :P

  9. I wish I could make my font size like 72 and write AMEN. Shopping lately has me sitting on the dressing room floor crying, it's ridiculous. I hope the stores get a hint sometime soon. :(
    By the way...you totally gave me a boost today, hun...I was aggravated because I felt ugly and unfit today when I looked in the mirror...but your right, we're made in God's image and we're all beautiful even though we may not be a walking barbie doll. I just need to remember that more often:)
    Thanks for writing this, dearest. I love youzzz<3

  10. This post was so awesome! You wrote what everyone else thinks. I'm so happy you did.

    Tops are not a problem for me, it's jeans. The lower half of my body is large, and jeans NEVER fit me right. It makes me so mad.

    Thank you again for this wonderful post. :)


  11. That was a great post Jocee!

  12. Oh Jocee I can't tell you how much I needed this post. Ever since I got two knee surgeries I have never been able to get rid of my extra weight and I always felt stupid and insignificant and like people didn't love me. But you gave me hope. You showed me that its more about the inside than the outside. Even though I already knew it I needed to hear it again and thank you so much for you amazing awesomeness and just your kindred spirit that comes out in these posts. You are by far my favorite blogger and probably the best in the world :)
    Emma <3

  13. Great post- 100% true and solid fact;) Great view on society. Sigh. I wish it wasn't so.

  14. Bravo!!! The pivot from external goals/standards to internal is HARD in this society...and is a constant battle. But the rewards are so worth it.

  15. Jocee - I noticed your post because your Aunt Mary posted a link to it on Google+ and a friend of hers (who is a friend of mine) reposted it. So that's how I got here.

    Now I don't know you or your family, but as a husband, father, and follower of Christ I wanted to say that you must surely make your parents proud. You seem to have wisdom and strength beyond your years, both of which come from the same Source.

    Your post about the pressures and false expectations of society and how they go against the truth of each individual's true beauty and worth made me think of one of my favorite bands: Superchick. I'm sure you've heard of them before. I know it sounds funny for a 38 year old father and pastor to say he likes Superchick, but I really like the music and the message to girls like yourself.

    Each one of you are beautiful to your Father, and beautiful in more ways that just the "sickly skinny" outward form of our current American culture. There is beauty in humor, beauty in wisdom, beauty in creativity, beauty in strength, beauty in courage, beauty in intelligence, beauty in athleticism, beauty in hard work, and especially beauty in a person who is full of the fruits of God's Spirit. That's what I pray for my three girls who are currently only 5, 2, and 10 months... that they would recognize true beauty just as you have.

    Keep being beautiful and encouraging others to do the same!


sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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