8.23.2011

the outtakes, day 2

day two of the outtakes challenge. you can look at the original post here
Morning. Another rude awakening. Another yell in Joy's direction. But this time, it was Joy who was apprehended. A sigh of relief. The sheets were all twisted up, and the clock read 8:14am. I had awoken exactly two hours earlier, finding the earth still dark, and proceeded to sleep again. But having been awakened a second time, it was harder to fall back asleep. Darn it. Well, atleast my dream was enjoyable. Insert me and William Moseley walking across a random bridge in the middle of Scotland. No. Ireland. With a red-headed model from Ugly Betty following us. That what I get for listening to that one episode about natural beauty. She walked past, eyeing Will in a way I honestly didn't want to think about. Changing subject. We were talking about time frames, if you want me to get into specifics it was the 40min through 45min range. It all made sense of course. I mean, it had to. You can't just kill the person you're with and then switch to another dream. Especially not if it's William Moseley. 
I finally get up and look over myself in the mirror. Not much sleep in my eyes on this day, but my hair is all over the place. I was too lazy to wrap it last night, oh well. Brushed my teeth. Unimportant details that take their place in life like. I can hear my parents talking. Without even seeing her face I can determine my mom's mood. Focused. Not really up for small talk. Crap. I love it when she laughs at my antics. She announces to me that after I finish my morning chores, I work for her until her first appointment. Which means I'm on her time, and I do whatever she wants me to do. Ugh. But, I'm not on her time yet! Time for my non-chore-included morning routine.
Raspberry Royale tea and a sit-down at the laptop for my morning browsing. Yahoo, Twitter, Facebook, and Blogger, in that order. I normally don't like Facebook, but I love talking to all my friends from camp. Twitter is basically the same concept. I open my Blogger account to find no new comments. Goshbubbles! Are my posts really that bad and rambly?
A visit to Pastor's Girl's Ponderings, and a quick hover over the header because I just love it's little surprise. Thinking about getting one for my new blog design. No, I don't want to be a copycat. But I really, really want one. I clicked on her "daily reads" page, and look over her favorite blogs. Horsefeathers. Of course. The Daybook, yes. Aspire, absolutely. The Pioneer Woman, a must. A click on Aspire. I haven't been on that blog in awhile, and I can't remember if I followed. A sidebar header as well, but this one doesn't change on hover. Suddenly I feel inadequate. Why is it that everyone else seems to be better than I am? Better than me at everything. Winning everything. It seems like someone's singing this song over and over in my head: "Anything you can do I can do better, I can do anything better than you."
It won't shut up, and it's driving me crazy. Can't I just be good at something for once? Do what I want to do without being brought down by people who are calling me a copycat. I try to be the best me I can be, but it's hard because it seems like there are so many versions of me everywhere.
Log out of Blogger. I told myself I'd write my post later. I read some of Ted Dekker's Sinner, I have to finish it before it's due again. Afternoon comes, I eat lunch, and turn on the tv after playing Dawn from the Pride & Prejudice soundtrack, and tune into Giada @ Home. I love her cooking so much.
For some odd reason I start playing with my hair, and after a failed attempt with my sister, I proceed to put a French-style fishtail braid in my hair, which inevitably succeeds. Just a *little-bit* obsessed.
Here I am now, writing my Outtakes post and my Draftless post. Definitely not the best day ever. But still, it's not over yet :) 
{pee ess: I'm serious on thinking about getting a hover-sidebar-header. What do you guys think about this? Also, I'm thinking about getting a frequently asked questions page. What do you guys think about *this*?}
Going to ask my parents if they'll buy some cupcake batter. I have un-used decoration kits waiting for me ;)

12 comments :

  1. Trust me, I know how it feels to feel like a copycat and a failure. I feel it all the time. But what you have to remember is that no matter what, you're special, and beautiful, and even when you don't believe it, you are a good blogger. I've had problems believing that myself lately, but it's true. Even when I don't write my blog, yours is the one I come and read. Just remember that you're special, and you're a great blogger, and you can do whatever the heck you want with your blog, because it's yours, and whoever says your a copycat, I'll smack them.

    Keep Writing,
    Nova

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  2. if only my hair were long enuff to look good in a fishtail braid! its about four inches past my shoulders, i think....

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  3. Dear, you are really and truly daggum awesome, so are all your posts and your blog. Just remember, who you are is how God made you, and he makes all thing perfect and wonderful. You don't have to be like all the 'popular bloggers' for us to like you. In fact, the reason I like you is for *you*. Not if you have a sidebar header or not.
    Anyways, I could preach you a sermon on it, but I know everybody else is already going too, so I'm just gonna say this---
    I LOVE YOU JOCEEEEE!!! I think your candy dandy, lovely-happy, beautifully beatiful and the sweetest girl on earth.

    P.S And you can always feel better then me if you want, 'cause hey--- My blog is decorated to my only blogger knowledge {I still don't know how to make a drop-down sidebar} I write boring post and have barley any followers. So don't feel too bad;)

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  4. Oooo, I love fishtale braids.... my cousin tried to teach me how, but I promptly forgot how :)

    I so agree, I want a side-bar header..... :)
    ♥ Johanna

    http://kidsonthefarm.blogspot.com/2011/08/outtakes-take-two.html

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  5. Jocee, I love who you are! I don't consider you a copycat. That dream about Will Mosley is funny! :)

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  6. I agree with Mary :) We love you Jocee!!

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  7. I think your a great blogger, Jocee! You come up with great ideas to post about (like this outtakes series for example), and your truly being honest with yourself in your posts. That's one of the reasons why I started following your blog. Everyone has their own style of blogging, and yours just happens to be one of the totally awesome ones! :)

    Btw, I posted my second day of outtakes here:
    http://desiringgodsdesires.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-outtakes-day-2.html

    Thought I should let you know. ;)

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  8. I LOVE THESE POSTS. Seriously. I feel this way... like every day. It gets really freaking ANNOYING to feel like the copy cat. The wanna be. But I guess we all are, right? Anyways. I'll stop rambling now. :)

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  9. Wow, I wish I could make fishtail braid look that great!

    Your blog design is just too cute! ♥

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  10. Alright, here is my outtakes post. (I hope it qualifies) I guess I have my own weird definition of an outtake, and want to make sure it's similar to yours. : ) http://lifewithabibliophobia.blogspot.com/2011/08/superbia-meam.html

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  11. Yup. Been there.

    It's so frustrating to have so many beautiful ideas and yet feel like you're copying one of the "bigger blogs." It's like showing up late to the casting where everyone knows everyone, and then wanting a shot at one of the lead roles. Trust me, been there, and it's hard. =/

    But it's nice to know we aren't alone. =)

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  12. I agree with Rachel completely. I feel like whenever I think of a great idea some other more famous blog already did it.
    Also, here's my day two outtake.
    http://madalyn-elizabeth.blogspot.com/2011/08/outtakes-day-2a-vlog.html

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sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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