8.24.2011

the outtakes, take 3

kind of "stole" the "take 3" idea from a blogger who decided to join the Outtakes crew. hope she doesn't mind. her idea was BEAST. {that's a good thing, by the way}
I'm posting this really late. Ooops.
Morning. Wasn't pounced on by my sister, hallelujah. But I was woken up at around 7:30am, since my mom, sister and I were going to spend the day at the Capital of Texas for a homeschoolers tour-type-thingy. My mom becomes aggravated after calling my name three times, but honestly, the first two times I couldn't hear her. I finally get dressed in my Delia's Mona Lisa tee and purple skinny jeans, and my mom says "Oh no, honey. This is important. I know you've been to the Capital a million and billion times, but we are dressing to impress. Represent." So, I had to change clothes, and I put on my "business casual", and I peek into my mom's office to find her not even dressed. Honestly, it kind of annoys me. She rushed us to get out the door, but in the long run we're sitting in the car, waiting for her to finish getting ready. You have no idea how many times it's happened since I've been alive. Alot. It's insane. 
Mom started on a breakfast of waffles and bacon, and all I could think of was "we could've survived on cereal and milk. And you're not ready. Really, mom?" We ate our food, with me cleaning out the dishwasher {I HATE THAT JOB} and I was assigned to making sandwiches for all of us. Turkey for me and mom, strawberry jelly for my ssiter. I rush to get my Ted Dekker novel and get in the car, refreshed my the air conditioning. They say if it's hot in the kitchen, then get out of the kitchen. It's not like I had a choice. 
Finally, we arrived at the Capital, and I saw many of my homeschool friends from back-in-the-stone-age. I was called "old" by a nine year old girl. At noon, we went to the cafeteria, and I was immediately stricken with jealousy because everyone else was getting burgers and fries and I....wasn't. {I love burgers and fries, by the way} And can I just say one thing: never, EVER put mustard on a turkey sandwich unless it's going to be eaten immediately. Or lettuce. Stale mustard and lettuce does NOT make a good lunch. Luckily my best friend, Lani Elizabeth, shared her food {as well as her seven siblings} and root beer, so I didn't starve. She even let me to her hair in fishtail braids!! Sorry. Obsessed. 
The Texas drought is at it's greatest {it's ironic because it's FINALLY starting to storm outside} and we passed some *suffering* roses on our way to the Supreme Court area. I met the Supreme Court Justice. Of Texas. Not the United States. Otherwise, this post probably wouldn't have been titled "the outtakes". We passed by those roses again -poor roses- and into a scavenger hunt. Me and Lani didn't finish it because we didn't feel like it, so instead, we went into this corridor and saw this spiral staircase which looked haunted, and haunted = hilarious. We were about to go down the stairs but these three girls, who were homeschoolers also, but were "special" because they were helping with the event, push past us and went down the stairs. And suddenly this blaring - and I *mean* **blaring** siren like a Police siren/Firefighter siren/FBI-you're-in-trouble siren went off. Lani and I went back into the main room saying "It totally wasn't us. We can swear." And then I started hyperventilating. Seriously. We almost had to call 911. It was bad. And those girls came back up snickering...and we later found out that they made that noise with the bullhorn they brought. Lani wanted to smack them. And I don't want to be mean, but I honestly don't blame her. They were kind of interrupting our conversations and telling us to "walk while we talk" because there was another guest speaker waiting. Yeah, needless to say, after they told us that for the tenth time, Lani was irritated. Emphasis on irritated. 
I'm going to cut it short. We got to the Capital at 9am and left at 4pm. Went home, ate, finally. Browsed blogs, saw a post about a person's favorite things for the day {or week, I guess}. She listed three of her favorite blog posts, and they were all from blogs that had 300 followers or more. Honestly, it's killing me. Why can't you have a favorite post from a less popular blog? While I was eating I was ranting to my mom about the non-perks of being a blogger. I'm sorry, but I've been feeling really jealous lately, and I don't want to be a mean, bitter brat, but that 'you're not good enough' has been playing it's tune all in my head, and it just won't shut up. I can't look at those popular blogs anymore without that feeling of "you're a terrible blogger. you don't deserve to be here. so why don't you just quit?" I've been talking to God about it. Because I know he loves it when we tell him about our lives. Yes, he's God and he knows all, but he still loves you, and wants to know everything about you, from you. Your perspective.
My mind just keeps going and going and going and it won't stop. It's partly because I'm writer. It's partly because there are thoughts that I want to keep away that won't stop knocking on my door. I feel like the third wheel. And yes, I've been referred to as the third wheel. 
Went to church, saw one of my best friends, was scared half to death by my other best friend, hyperventilated again. Came home, finishing up my California packing. Blogging. Dying for a cup of tea. 
And no, my day wasn't bad, I just need to adjust my attitude. This is so not like me. Would you guys include me in your prayers? 
Need to finish packing. So excited for tomorrow. I love you all :))
-kiss, kiss, hug, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss-

15 comments :

  1. I get it. I really do.

    It drives me nuts when I see only the popular blogs getting lauded when I have beautiful friends with less than 100 followers who need to be lifted up. =/

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  2. Jocee I LOVE YOUR BLOG. Just so you know. :) And I get seriously mad that sometimes people just like blogs because they have a buncha followers (and in my opinion, the blog totally doesn't deserve em'). And it makes me feel nasty. And mad. And I hate it. Blegh. :P

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  3. Jocee, love your honesty. I feel like you did today _alot._ Like that I'm not good enough. I will SO include you in my prayers! I am often jealous of your blog because your blog seems like a popular, amazing blog to me & I just love it!!!! I try too hard for my blog to be popular :P. Sigh...

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  4. Jocee, ohmydear, your blog is one of my top favorites!! Please don't feel like you're not good enough, because that's a lie. You're awesome!!!

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  5. By the way, I did an outtake on my blog, but I didn't name it outtake because I know I wouldn't be able to do it for 14 days. xD

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  6. Hi Jocee
    Great post!
    The ironic thing is that to me you have a "popular" blog. I only have 35 followers. So your amount is mega (or BEAST, as you say).
    I would love it if you would come visit me at my "un-popular" blog (lol)
    http://bethsbloggy.blogspot.com/
    I hope you have a wonderfully wonderful time Californa. And hopefully get renunited with your true love ;}
    Beth

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  7. I'll be praying for you :) I hope today is better than yesterday! <3

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  8. It annoys me too whenever I'm waiting for my parents in the car, especially if its either too hot or too cold outside. :/

    I can understand what you mean by being jealous of other popular blogs, and thinking that your blog isn't worth it. I've struggled with that too, but it's best to leave it in God's hands and letting Him decide what happens on your blog. :)

    P.S. Here's my blog link for day 3:
    http://desiringgodsdesires.blogspot.com/2011/08/my-outtakes-day-3.html

    Praying for you.

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  9. Oh my gosh!! I'm SO sorry Jocee, I know what that feels like to be upset. I've had times where I'm really upset and I hate being like that but I can't help it. It really sucks.

    By the way girl, your blog is seriously one of my favorites!! I'm not even joking. You have 183 followers in eight months! That's awesome! I have 38 and I'm happy for them but I've been blogging for almost two years! Seriously, to me, you're one of the people with lots of followers. I love you and your blog and your pictures and I'm sure at least 150 more people do, too.

    Think of it this way, you've influenced at least one person on your blog and that's me. You kind of started my cupcake obsession and your blog always makes me happy.

    Thanks,
    I'll be praying :)

    hugs
    iGirl

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  10. Here's is my third post. This is fun. : ) Sounds like you have had some interesting days.

    Okay, I can't help myself, I wasn't going to write this. But It sounds like you are having some contentment troubles. Here is all I have to say. Your blog is lovely, never compare yourself with any other blogger. (I think the Bible has something to say about comparing ourselves with others.) Count your blessings. Become enraptured with Christ. Smile. :D
    http://lifewithabibliophobia.blogspot.com/2011/08/im-procrastinator.html

    Thanks for doing this series. I've really enjoyed myself.

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  11. Ha Ha my mum does the same. oh! and i love that picture of the fishtail braids, how do you do them? your so clever! email me sofiawilson@live.co.uk

    I'd love to hear from you :)
    Saff X

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  12. Hehe be grateful you have more than 10 followers... unlike me :p
    Haha I honestly love your posts! Especially when they're about random things that you're currently obsessing over. Makes me want to obsess some more ;)

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  13. Can you send me the link to the blogger you "stole" the idea from? Muchos thanks. ;) <3

    xx,
    Bleah

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  14. I'll be praying for you! :)
    I feel like the third wheel all the time, too.
    And By the way, if you stopped blogging, I would absolutely die!!
    Have a lovely Thursday.

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  15. Oh I'm sorry Joc, about your attitude problem. I will pray for you! I'm actually thinking of deleting my blog, just becuz, no: I don't feel jealous of other bloggers, but just becuz I can never think of real good things to post about, and also, school has started, and stuff. So ya.

    But I will still keep up my tumblr, so no worries there! And we can still keep in touch thru email, ok? Love ya!!

    Love,
    Manda <3

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sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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