6.08.2012

if i had to tell him i loved him.

bridging the gap.
i was flipping through the music issue of tribeza magazine, and i came across an article by a woman named kristin armstrong. i think this quote says it best: "for as much as i love words, there are simply some subjects that are too big to fit neatly into sentences and paragraphs." you've heard me say it before: it's easier for me to write than to speak. if you met me, you'd find me constantly stumbling over my words and searching for the right things to say, and in the end i'd probably write it down for you so you could understand it. it sounds better in my mind than actually spoken from my mouth. but in some situations, writing can't do me justice. 

i once dreamed about a situation in which i was asked how i would tell him i loved him. we were all in a large room with a dining table so long i couldn't see the end of it, and he was there, sitting directly across from me, but he didn't know he was the one. i was asked what words i would use and what actions i would convey to explain myself, but i couldn't bring myself to say or do anything. it was deadly quiet for a long time. finally, i got up, popped an album onto the record player that i had made {who knew my dreams could turn out vintage} and let it play. and this is what i said:

because for the times that i can't speak to save my life or shed a tear for emphasis, music can do it for me. it brings forth emotions that can't be properly worded with the tongue, but only the heart and soul. back in the dream, after the music had ended, several were in tears. even him. he didn't know it was him still, but he knew that i loved someone an awful lot if i wasn't able to speak on my own behalf.

after i awoke, i went to my computer and curated the above playlist; composed, if you will. i have to say, that the music i chose described it so perfectly that even i was crying. by now, though, you're probably thinking i'm a silly schoolgirl with an infatuation and too sappy to be taken seriously. and i probably am. but if i had to tell him i loved him, this is what i would say.
what would you say?
-kiss kiss kiss, such stuff that dreams are made of-
{pea ess: vlog. it's coming. be excited.}

9 comments :

  1. i totally get this. for me, writing is easier than speaking, while music is easier than writing. it all works together somehow.

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  2. i am excited for that vlog you've been promising :D also, i love this. where words fail, music speaks.

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  3. dude, this is so me! you'll see in my vlog (if I ever just DO IT) that I stumble over my words and say weird things that don't make sense. most of the time what I think in my head and what I actually say are two totally different things (usually different by accident). hah.
    this is very beautiful. :)
    stoked for your vlog!!!!

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  4. jasldkjafoiahglkasjflkdsj I can't wait for the vlog!
    I would say "C'est la Mort" -The Civil Wars // "What I Wouldn't Do" -A Fine Frenzy // "More Like Her" -Miranda Lambert. Mixed emotions, I know.
    I'm also the same as you are about speaking/writing. Putting words onto paper is so much easier than saying them.

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  5. this part: "i think this quote says it best: "for as much as i love words, there are simply some subjects that are too big to fit neatly into sentences and paragraphs."you've heard me say it before: it's easier for me to write than to speak. if you met me, you'd find me constantly stumbling over my words and searching for the right things to say, and in the end i'd probably write it down for you so you could understand it. it sounds better in my mind than actually spoken from my mouth. but in some situations, writing can't do me justice. "
    yes. just yes.

    and i'm excited for that vlog!! :)

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  6. you are just the darlingest.

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  7. This is great, music always knows what to say xx

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  8. I think I would write him a song. The best combo of writing and music!! :)

    xoxo,
    Erin

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sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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