you're never the same age for more than one second.

half of one.
have you ever realized it? you're constantly getting older. every minute, every second, every fraction of a second, you're changing. i'm getting older just as i'm writing this post. i can't feel it, and i can't say i want to feel it, but it's a part of reality that i'm learning to grasp. in some cases, i want to get older. i want to get married, i want to do great things in music, i want to travel the world. but in other cases, i want to be a little girl still. i don't want to have to sleep in a room that is not my own. i don't want to take the college tests and get vaccinations and get my driver's license. i don't like being busy. i'd rather just sit and do it all on my own time.

today, i am thirty-one half years old. fifteen and-a-half, for those who are slightly confused. to everyone else, it's just a regular day, or maybe it's someone's whole birthday, but to me, it's... well, it's half a landmark. in my family, we don't celebrate every single little thing like hazel grace lancaster's mom insists on doing. we may celebrate an accomplishment here and there, but we really wait until the holidays come.

now, that doesn't mean i'm going to go bizerk and invite every human on facebook to my house. it just means that today will be a tad bit different. maybe i'll get some tea from grandma's house, since we don't have any here. maybe have a turkey sandwich for lunch, because it's my favorite, even if we don't have many potato chips left {everyone knows you can't have a turkey sandwich without potato chips}. eat an imaginary cupcake if a real one doesn't make itself known. tonight, my sister has a swim-a-thon, so there'll be pizza and popcorn and most of my friends. maybe do a writing 365 project. but why go through all this trouble? it's just one day.

see, i'm growing up. again, i have my reasons for wanting to and not wanting to. and even if most of my teenage years will all end up being a blur, i want there to be specific memories that i'd be happy to think about, happy to tell other people about.

and since it's the sort of thing wallflower's do, i think i might make myself a mixtape.
-kiss kiss kiss, happy half-birthday to me-
{pea ess: my song for today.}


  1. Happy birthday.. kind of... lol :)


  2. happy half birthday sweetness! haha. what a wicked idea. I'm gonna do this when my half birthday arrives. and I shall have 2 lattes, a hot bath, and ice cream to celebrate. the joy! ;-)

  3. happy half birthday doll! ;P

  4. Happy half-birthday girl! I think i shall take your advice when mine comes around. ;)

  5. wait, it's your un-birthday today?? me too! a very merry un-birthday to you ;D

    man, this post hit home. and you know, i thought i was the only person in the whole wide world who knew that you just can't eat a turkey sandwich without potato chips.


  6. Aww! Happy half birthday Jocee! :)


  7. I was thinking about posting on my half birthday, but I didn't because time goes by too fast.

    Anyhoo. HAPPY HALF BIRTHDAY! You deserve the world's delicious cupcakes. Soooo, here is a virtual cupcake from me to you:


    (um... wow... so sorry. I didn't think it would be THAT long. :P)

    xx. Acacia!

  8. It's your half birthday? It's my 11/12ths birthday! (That looks awkward but it's only a month til my birthday.) And today is Anne Frank's birthday. Huzzah for people born on the 12th!
    Have some cupcakes if you can! Those ones look delish. :)

  9. Happy half birthday, Jocee! :-) This post was adorable. And I always think about how I'm getting older by the second, which gives me even more of a reason to make each moment count. :-)


  10. yes. just yes. to all of this. happy half birthday!
    and today at school i ate a cupcake, and i thought of you and your lovely amazing blog :)

  11. Happy half-birthday. I love this post, and that picture is lovely xx

  12. Happy half birthday! :)
    Great post and the photo is lovely

  13. Great post. Very profound.
    That's the kind of stuff I've been thinking about lately. Not what you wrote about, exactly. I've been trying to think deeper...:)

    Happy half b-day. You live in Texas, right? So if Texas has the same laws as where I live, you can get your license in half a year. Sweet...:P

  14. I think I become more in love with your blog with every post. Haha. :) Your photography is as always lovely. And now I want to go eat a cupcake. I had three cupcakes for breakfast that other morning. Breakfast of a champion.

  15. Happy belated half birthday. I do this too (:


sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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