darling i haven't forgotten.

i remember us when we 
were young. 
we'd talk about ducks and
tornadoes and
we wouldn't know better. 
we wouldn't care. 
i don't think i had a better friend
than you at the time. 
that time when the void didn't
and then we got older.
i started to love you,
and we drifted
like clouds in an 
open sky.
and then the 
void came. 
i fell into the 
labyrinth of platonic 
handshakes and desperate looks from
your friends.
and you just let me 
stay there.
it's been a 
a month since i wished
you would hug me. 
the gap between our friendship is
widening, i can't see 
hope for us anymore. 
the thing is, darling
i haven't forgotten. 
i just don't know if 

happy sixteenth birthday, eli. i'm still waiting for that hug.
{pea ess: the eli saga, if you want to know all of it. here and here.}
{pea pea ess: the poem that inspired me to do this, by carlotta. swear, it'll make you cry. it's the poem in the photo, i wrote it down so i'd always remember, too.}


  1. Beautiful Jocee... You're very talented. :)

    ~ Abby

  2. "the thing is, darling
    i haven't forgotten.
    i just don't know if

    so sad and beautiful. love you Jocee!

  3. I am so sorry. i am going through the same sort of thing.

    Hannah Mae

  4. ah, it pains me whenever you talk of eli. i have a very similar sitch going on :(

    that poem by carlotta? died. it was so, so beautifully sad.


  5. "i just don't know if you remember." -- all my sadness! pretty much just real and perfect.

  6. Oh goodness, now I have to think about what a hopeless romantic I am.
    But that was beautiful of you.


  7. Can someone hand me a tissue? This is SOOO sad!!!! *sobs* Oh Eli, can't you just hug her? Just one hug? Seriously, it feels like one of those times in books and anime where a charater you love SOOO much... dies... *sobs even more* Or leaves, and you just cry and cry and cry cause nothing shall be the same without them.

    O love, why does thou hurt so much...
    =^..^= Hunteress =^..^=

  8. ^^^ what all of them said.

    Also-I love your blog so much. It is definitely one of my favorites. Don't ever stop.(: I admire you so much! Recently I was shopping with my mom. I told her that the cashier at old Navy was pretty. Mom smiled, "Did she remind you of Jocee?" That was exactly what I was thinking. Yup-my mom loves you too.:)

  9. Awww.. This is beautiful/sad. Love you Jocee <3
    I love the new design! :)

  10. Sounds SO beautiful! But, still, so sad. Hope things work out!
    Sunny Diva

  11. I just found your blog, and already I love it so much, especially this poem! You are such a talented writer. Its awesome in a i-think-i’m-gonna-fall-into-depression-for-you kind of way.

  12. I can't describe to you how this poem makes me feel. It makes me feel... sad, I guess. You've put the words I've been trying to say for years into a piece of writing, and it's beautiful and it makes my heart hurt. If we ever skype Jocee, i want to vent and you can vent to me too.


sometimes i do not understand why you guys like me so much, but the fact that you do (and that you keep coming around) makes me happier than you can even imagine.

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