the cycle of missing you.

so, it's not raining outside but it is dark and thunder is rolling and i miss you.
and people talk about missing someone as if it's an emotion or maybe even temporary.
but for me, it's a perpetual thing that marinates in my subconscious thought and only really makes itself evident to my consciousness in passing.
i look at pizza (silly as it sounds) and i remember the time where you thought i was mad at you but i was looking out for you and i miss you.
i smell laundry detergent and i think of washateria and mallory's wavy hair (like taylor swift only better) and your moustache hoodie and i miss you.
and missing you is more than a memory (and scars have memory), it's knowing that i feel like myself when i'm around you and when i am away, i feel like i am the shadow of a human being, afraid of the sun because it's not raining outside, it is the shadow of a rainfall, and dear God, i miss you.

it's raining.

i think the sky is crying for me.
one day more, baby.
love, 
jo.

{the last letter to my best friend while i'm away that signifies how much she means to me, with one day more to wait until the eight affirmations become a tangible medium.}