things about my blog that i miss.

origins

i just got back from spending a good week and a half at camp and since then i've been really bored. like listening to my music without headphones slouching in my chair bored. and for some reason, all these old things i used to like came to mind. like film photography and cool summer evenings and cupcakes. and i was like "omg whatever happened to cupcakes," like "cupcakes were half my passion for this blog" and "i really miss baking, i think i'll look up some cool cupcake recipes." so i came across my all time favourite cupcake site again, and i got really hungry. and a little sad. and i started listening to the music i was obsessed with in 2013, like a fine frenzy and whatnot. and i remembered how much i wanted to make cool lil short videos and how i used to read kinfolk and how i LOVED making food and wanted to be a bestselling author and things like that. but mostly, i missed cupcakes. eating them. seeing them in person, making them from scratch. i missed having that sort of creativity pulse through my veins as if that was all i lived for. so i went through all her blog posts from like now to 2013 and savoured every single picture. and i remembered my old self as though i never left. this is probably weird and creepy and probably doesn't make any sense, but. next week i'm going to see my grandparents for the 4th and i think i'm going to make cupcakes while i'm there. or at least a cake. maybe this post is more about things about myself that i miss rather than things about my blog, but i should make more of an effort to bring these things back. because not everything deserves to die, right?

- kiss kiss kiss, vocalise -

{pea ess: all pictures from her site, duh.}

{pea pea ess: to the girl who sent me an email with two secrets that she turned into four wayy back in 2013, you're next.
i haven't forgotten about you. i love you. i'm sorry. you're next.}

cupcakeing, v.13.

mommy and i stopped by hey cupcake on the way home from a UT festival the family went to. i don't know what else to say except that it's been a fantastic couple of days, and that hopefully there are more to come.

-kiss kiss kiss, touch just chemistry-

cupcakeing, v.11.

apparently, this is how you're supposed to eat a cupcake. it's surprisingly convenient.
-kiss kiss kiss, the new age-

cupcakeing, v.10.

i wanted to make actual cupcakes but we didn't have any and no one felt like getting any, so i attempted to watercolour a cupcake for today's two year blogoversary of cupcake dictionary. please note: i attempted. i'm not an expert, but watercolouring is really fun, so it wasn't a total loss. be honest: it's probably really bad.

for this blog post, i know i didn't want to say the typical "i've been hitting the publish button for two years now; i didn't think my blog would go this far," sort of thing. but now that i think about it, i didn't know what i wanted to say at all. i just wanted it to be a good day and i wanted it to be something that i remembered. but to be cliche for a moment, i can't believe it's been two years and i can't believe my blog has gotten this far. oh hey, now i know what i want to talk about. 

so, it's come to my attention that this blog has become very popular. and along with that, i've found myself being referred to as a popular blogger. and i've been talking to my friends about it, asking them what they believe constitutes the use of the word, and asking them if they see me as a product of it. and they said yes, with some exceptions.

popular, in today's world of blogging, means you have a certain amount of followers. it means you get a certain amount of comments and it means you have a certain amount of people that you hang out with. your name has become a household name of sorts, and you've been selected to sit on this... pedestal for all other bloggers to become more like you. and to me, that is not okay. and i've seen what popularity can do and what it has done. and i don't want to be like that. i want to remember where i've come from, how i got where i am, and i want to remember the people who i've made friends with along the way. i don't want to be made up into this unattainable figure that you can only wish your life was like, i just want to be myself. and i want to be your friend. and i want you all to talk to me and confide and me and i don't want you to be afraid of me. because i'm just jocelyn. i'm really not a big deal and i don't want to be. i just want to be me. i want to like cupcakes and narnia and the avengers and tom hiddleston and basically anything and everything british. i don't want to only blog about fashion or travel or food. i want to shine my light to the world and i want to encourage all of you to do the same thing. but more on that later.

basically, i want to be your friend and i want you to be mine. so this year, just go ahead and talk to me. i'll respond. tell me about your favourite movie or favourite song or even your favourite cupcake flavour. it might be my favourite too. just relax. and smile. and put your feet up, because i might make you a cup of tea. 

happy blogaversary (seriously how do i spell that word?!) to me. 

-kiss kiss kiss, all the huzzahs-

cupcakeing, v.9

i'm sorry i haven't had much to say here in the past few days. it's been hard, you know? sometimes, blogging is hard. sometimes i don't have anything to say. but sometimes i say something anyway, because the lack of posts just gets to me some days. there's been an abundance of serious posts on the blog as of late, and i want to do something a bit light-hearted, but i still have some pretty serious things to say. and that's partly what's conflicting me. i want to say happy things but i can't think of any. and maybe that's alright. right now, some things are happening in my personal life that are hurting me very much. and i don't know what to do. but the thing is, when something happens (something not good), i kind of hold onto it. i carry it around with me. and it is a burden. it's a real pain in the royal asgardian and i can't stand it. but sometimes, it's hard to let go. and even if i do let go, sometimes i get sucked in again. so i'm learning (like i'd learned so long ago) to cast my burdens on the Lord. i mean, He died so that we would be okay. so we wouldn't have to hurt. so why the heck am i carrying this thing around? sigh. 

so, about this cupcake: jasmine actually got me cupcakes for my birthday. like, seriously, no joke. and they smell like cinnamon and taste like cinnamon-french-toast-vanilla-coffe-cupcake-whatever. basically, it's really good. 

and they photograph really well. also i love making gifs.

{pea ess: i'm going to make some vlogs soon. they're both really important. so, stay tuned.}

{pea pea ess: i wrote a song about instagram. lookit.}

cupcakeing, v.8

my parents are on staff at my church, and on sunday, they went to the church's monthly staff meeting. i chose to stay at grandma's house, where grandma and i listened to old records and drank soda pop and ate ice cream sandwiches and watched football. that was a good day. the next day, i opened the refrigerator to find a container full of cupcakes. i guess my parents brought them home from the after-meeting-fellowship. some big, some small. but i'm not kidding you. the container was so full that it was hardly closed! so on a whim, i grabbed the container and stuffed it into my school bag, and went off to community college. if you were meeting me for lunch, then you would have to know that i was the girl in the cafeteria with the navy-blue-striped cardigan eating a whole container full of cupcakes. and they were so good.

-kiss kiss kiss, moe larry cheese-

cupcakeking, v.7

instead of a post about my sister's seventh birthday, which is today, joy asked if i could post a picture of a cupcake so she could see it later. so happy birthday, joy. you know i love you, because i totally could've been at the theatre watching the perks of being a wallflower right now. #ehehe #justkidding #youmad #idowhatiwant #yesimusinghashtagsinablogpost #getwithit

-kiss kiss kiss, sisser-

cupcakeing, v.6

one // gluten-free with hannah in mind; two // treats with friends before the olympics.

i haven't had cupcakes in so long, you guys. good to have them grace my mouth again. when i took a bite, the cloud opened and God said: "oh, goshbubbles. she's at it again." ah, life is good.

-kiss kiss kiss, stick it stick it stick it-
{pea ess: i'm rooting for england like i'm a citizen. but then, i'm sure i'm not the only one.}

cupcakeing, v.5

this is what happens when you babysit to little darlings {who when put together aren't as rambunctious as your sister} for five hours and their mother decides to drop by hey cupcake on her way home. afterthoughts? i'm in icing paradise. 

-kiss kiss kiss, bokeh and bouquet-

{pea ess: why is the rum always gone?}

be jelly.

hi. so, guess what daddy brought home from his company-meeting-party-person-thing-whatever he went to! oh, wait. you don't have to guess. well, since you don't have to guess, i oblige you to swoon.

 

honestly the best cupcake i've had since sprinkles was at neiman marcus. and while we're on subject, guess what else daddy brought home? a crystal bowl from tiffany&co, because my dad is beastly. i feel like holly gollightly. now all i need is a kolache and some coffee. 

or maybe hot cocoa and a cupcake, because cupcakes are cooler and i don't drink coffee. but anyways, be jelly. what's your favorite flavor of cupcake?

-kiss kiss kiss, hey boo boo-
{pea ess: william moseley's 25th birthday is in fifteen days. start the count down, you guys.}

one last cupcake.

um, hi, so yeah. i have some bad news. this is the last cupcake you'll ever see on cupcake dictionary. because... i've decided to stop blogging. i know, i'm sorry. i just think this window of my life has passed.

and this is the point where i tell you i'm kidding.

happy april fool's day! but seriously, doesn't that cupcake look amazing? and it's huge. and i also met michael landon jr. and haymitch approves. this is exciting. but anyway, i wouldn't stop blogging for anything. not even a canon 5d mark ii. not even for peter or peeta or tom. well, that's probably a lie. but seriously. i love you guys too much.

-kiss kiss kiss, be jelly-

a cup full of cake.

hi, my name is jocelyn and i like making people's mouths water by spamming them with cupcake photos.

sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
they say the way to make a craving go away is to eat it away. actually, that's what i say. but anyway, you're welcome.

-kiss kiss kiss, haymitch approves-

cupcakes! at the oscars.

imagine this: the oscars. a crowd is gathered in front of the tele, pulling for their favorites to win. whether they win or not, the anticipation is exhilarating. and all the while, they have cupcakes in their hand. but not just cupcakes, oscar cupcakes. 

i know, right?

but the sad thing is, they aren't mine. remember that said celebrity aunt in yesterday's post? she just may or may not live in california, and she just may or may not have hosted at oscar party, complete with beastly cupcakes that make me hungry/jealous. and did i mention hipster friends? i may or may not have invited myself over. however, i didn't get to go. this time. so, i sufficed by throwing my hand into the laptop screen and devouring all the cupcakes that have to do with the help. and no, they were not all vanilla. so yes, that means that some were chocolate. wink if you get it.

my oscar party, you ask? my party consisted of pie {wink, wink}, excruciatingly loud voices, frequent stops to the internet movie database, whooping and hollering in happiness, booing in upset-ness and list-making {which should be one word}. the highlight of that night? octavia spencer's win. the lowlight of that night? running out of pie.

until my oscar parties consist of beastly cupcakes and californian hipster friends, i can deal with this.

which cupcake is your favorite?

-kiss kiss kiss, hug figaro-

cupcakeing, v.4

v.1, v.2, v.3

or, i will be forced to do it for you. 

-kiss kiss kiss, hug the main sail-

this one is special

in honor of National Cupcake Day, i'm going to hush up and make you incurably hungry with cupcake pictures, and then go buy some cupcakes with my mommy, and then come back and dance to the weepies whilst eating the cupcakes. and then i'm going to read jane eyre. so:

source

source

source

source

source

-kiss kiss kiss, hug floral-

cupcakeing, v.3

{one}

{two}

happy birthday to me. 

-kiss kiss kiss, hug oragami-

{pee ess: fifteen in 3hrs, 37min. eek.}

cupcakeing, v.2

v.1

your argument is invalid.

-kiss kiss kiss, hug marshmallow creme-
{pee ess: three days until fifteen.}
{pee pee ess: on this day, six years ago in 2005 at 2:40pm i saw the Chronicles of Narnia for the first time. just wanted to throw that out there.}

dear to me

there are some things you can't remember doing. like taking your first steps. saying your first word. i only remember one thing from my younger days: calling my grandma on the phone and telling her i received three things in the mail that day. my! she said. you're rich! three things? wow. i was three years old then. i am nearly fifteen now.

for as long as my memory allows, i've loved cupcakes. many of my friends and loved ones have noticed the glow in my eyes as i'd see one. oh, hello there. you're looking good today. and it'd be gone in a split second. it wasn't just the taste that attracted me to them. warm, moist, nearly melts in your mouth. the texture of the frosting. the slight crunch of the sprinkles. or the sight. delicate. enchanting. there was something else.

i can remember alot of things. a conversation that took place between me and a friend. time of day, place. subject. it'll come back to me as though it just happened. i don't eat cupcakes as much as everyone thinks. if i did i'd be the size of a hippopotamus. but when i do, i always remember being happy. i don't recall eating them when i was grouchy or upset. i always had a smile on my face. always.


everyone has something they're fond of. if they are upset, tea can calm them down. if they are depressed, doctor who is always a laugh-machine. for me, when i am in any other mood than i am supposed to be in, sometimes, someone hands me a cupcake. here you go. it's like they're handing me a smile on a plate and saying be happy. and my face immediately lights up.


so, in honor of these pretties, be happy.

-kiss kiss kiss, hug a spiral notebook-
{pee ess: hello, december. how nice to see you again. it's been a long time. can i offer you a cup of tea?}
{pee pee ess: 11 days until fifteen. getting excited.}

a little bit of {sunday love}

a little bit of she and him christmas. i love zooey deschanel. and her last name. i could say it forever. deschanel deschanel deschanel..

a little bit of grandma's house. there's always something comforting about the familiar smell of your grandparents. also, they give the best hugs. also, vintage homes are stellar.

a little bit of apple crisp. one of the joys of baking. after grandma does her share in the kitchen, you are permitted to take over. and thus, the house smells like thanksgiving, Christmas and yankee candles all in one sitting. 

source

a little bit of composition. did i ever tell you that i finished the score i was entering into the music competition and my life was un-kaput? if not, pretend i did. i am now taking on another project and orchestrating a piano version of one of my favorite Christmas pieces. by john williams, of course. this is quite the funness. 

a little bit of crafting. the birthday party is rolling around soon... two weeks from today to be exact. grandma + mommy + me went supply shopping yesterday. making abbey's diy-dry erase boards and homemade snowglobes. my desk is now filled with glitter and miniatures and frames and acrylic paints. 

a little bit of writing. lately, i haven't had time to write. that isn't true. lately, i have been too lazy to write. my current stories are in the graveyard, and today, i am going to resurrect them. i have told myself to write when i feel like it, and write when i don't. i'm contemplating doing nanowrimo next year, if my schedule is in my favor. let's hope so. 

a litte bit of love. i love you guys. 262 followers? holy cheese. 

a little bit of cupcakes. apparently i'm making them for my youth group next sunday. this should be fun. 

-kiss kiss kiss, hug a puzzle-
{pee ess: like my new "hey, cupcake" sign? yeah. i like it, too.}